2/24/03
My Dad signed us up as volunteers for this year's Wisconsin Ironman.
Before I go any further, you all know that I am fortunate in that I have two Dads: Mike and Dave. The Dad that I'm referring in this particular case is Dave.
If you're not familiar with Ironman competition it's a bunch of driven, type "A" personalities that train endlessly and devote loads of cash for equipment all for the privilege of swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and running 26.2 miles in a single day (actually, top competitors do it in about nine hours, but that's beside the point).
Please don't misinterpret my tone. Do I think this competition is exciting? Yes. Do I admire the competitors? Sure. Do I think they're all insane? Without a doubt.
Last year, Dave and I were spectators at the Wisconsin Ironman. One of the top finishers completed the race with severe diarrhea. We also learned that vomiting is pretty typical in the transition areas. There's a board at race headquarters that posts all the people that drop out of the race. I assume, they pass out, cramp up, crash bikes, lose limbs or their bodies simply tell their brains that they're calling an attorney and will see them in court.
So when I use the word insane you can see that, by most people's standards, I'm not too far off the mark. But keep in mind when I say, by most people's standards, I don't mean an overwhelming majority. Ironman Wisconsin stopped accepting entrants just six weeks after they invited people to register. I think that means 1,800 people jumped at this opportunity to abuse themselves.
There I go again, sounding negative.
I do think completing the Ironman would be an incredible accomplishment. I recall a minor disagreement I had with a friend a few years ago (okay, many years ago). We were watching TV and I think it was the Hawaiian Ironman that came on. My friend maintained that a marathon or an Ironman was the most egocentric thing that a person could do. All those hours of training that these athletes devote to themselves could be spent making their part of the world a better place. The athlete's families and friends all suffered, to one extent or another, because of a self-centered pursuit of glory.
Uh, okay.
I thought it was more a matter of making the most of a person's God-given potential. You can attribute selfish motivations to all sports but that certainly doesn't make them unworthy pursuits. Most athletics (professional wrestling aside) provide the opportunity for people to become a part of a community, improve their physical well being and engender healthy attitudes (for the most part) about competition, perseverance and discipline. Athletics are just as essential a component of the human condition as the arts. Is a lifetime devoted to the cello more or less valid than a lifetime devoted to soccer? Ask Pele.
The truth is, I didn't really say that to her. I probably said something like, "Nuh uh, I think it's awesome." But I'm pretty sure she got all that stuff about perseverance, discipline and Pele.
My Dad thinks the Ironman is pretty awesome, too. So much so, he wants to compete in one.
He will.
That's the kind of guy he is.
As for me, I'm not that kind of guy. I'm not what most people would call a "closer". I get very excited about things, then my interest wanes and suddenly I'm no longer participating. From Cub Scouts to weight loss I don't have a very good track record when it comes to following through to the point where I achieve decent results.
I have goals. They're kind of private, but I will say that I'm a closet runner (okay, walker/jogger). Every now and again I beg Debbie to pester me until I get out and hit the pavement. I buy all sorts of gadgets and I keep copious logs each time I actually do get on the treadmill or explore our neighborhood's sidewalks. But, after about a month, I'm back on the couch, watching the Food Network with a glass of Hawaiian Punch mixed with orange juice in one hand and a hand full of Allie's string cheese in the other.
Regardless, I'll help out with the Ironman this year. Maybe helping to pull people's wetsuits off or handing these hopeful Ironmen cups of Gatorade will inspire me to reach my own goals. I have a feeling I'll look a little out of place. A 5' 9", 250 pound guy with a round head is going to stand out in a course filled with sleek, highly trained, well-muscled athletes. I'm sure they'll all laugh and point. They'll probably throw used packs of energy gel at me and then beat me up after the race.
I bet I can type faster than all of them.
The truth is, I want desperately to make my move and make it stick. The hows and whys I've only shared with my wife, but I suppose you can consider this as close to a public declaration as I'll make.
Anyway, wish me luck.
If you want to learn more about Wisconsin Ironman check out this link: http://www.ironmanwisconsin.com.