Overheard conversation Please send overheard conversation to editor@heraldsparrow.com with your name as you would like it to appear. Previously Overheard Conversation Don’t look now but that’s my ex-church across the street. Rambling Jim Guys who have fros don’t get jealous about other guy’s fros being bigger. And anyway mine was bigger than than his before I got my hair cut. M.Q. Well, according to your career placement tests, you’re gay. staff Somehow I lost a sloth last weekend. It's not like those things are very quick or anything, but you'd be amazed how far they can get if you don't check on them for two or three weeks. J. of A.T. Guess what I’ve taken the liberty of. staff It was a medieval theme, except for the things that weren’t medieval. Rambling Jim Mommy! Daddy’s saying I’m like you. Tetta You brushing your teeth triggered a chain of events that made me realize how thirsty I was. M.M. Pesos con queso? Ellen E. Mach schnell mit der Ramen vomit. staff When I found out he Scotchgards™ his ties I began to doubt he could be happy with any woman. F.M. I think I’m going to wear this outfit tomorrow just to get it over with. Bobbie Lynne Sometimes, I’ll be driving, and I just want to be in a headstand. Even though I don’t do headstands! Zabby Gee, it's getting late earlier now. BJ If I was Achille’s mom I would’ve just thrown him in the river. Rambling Jim She has two emotions: regular, and rage. E. S. I never said you smell like a greaseball. Tetta That's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me in a Taco Bell drive-through. M.J. How would I know the religious views of whoever stole my wallet when I was passed out? Anonymous I stand corrected, yet curiously apathetic. Ilex I wrote a threatening note to him on a napkin but someone dipped it in orange juice and I thought that made it less intimidating. Tetta I was trying to spell Darius Rucker's name so I googled "Hottie and the Blowfish," but those links didn’t help, at all. Anonymous My mom always calls when I have video-game induced Tourette's Syndrome. Q.B. Why are you trying to frighten my imaginary children? A.C. I’m officially allowed to wear a cape. M.Q. Louisville Come on out from back down up in under there. Edith M. North Carolina And she got to ride in a police cruiser, like a movie star. Rambling Jim I feel sorry for kids who have hot moms. Like that kid, over there. R.S. Well, for someone who gives lectures, you're young. M.M. They schedule you to fish for an hour in the middle of the day before arts and crafts, and you know how to fish but they keep telling you what to do the whole time, and then you have to go to arts and crafts. And I hate it. Rambling Jim I just realized dogs don't have boobs! M.C. Can I tell you about something that won't interest you and you won't understand but really frustrates me at work? Seth I think I used to live around here. Brownfunkle Someday I'm going to make a good commercial for gum. Rambling Jim The eye doctor said my hair is prettier than yours. Tetta You should totally take the dead squirrel to the eighth grade dance. E. S. Make me make it work. Rambling Jim Your mom was so mad, when she went in the door at Walgreens a baby bird fell out of its nest and it died. I had to get a stick and scoot it over in the shade. C.C. Summer of 08, Louisville That's my favorite picture of you where you look like an Asian baby with facial hair. Tetta Look at that lonely billboard. Tetta People work harder when they're scared. BF I love it when it's 4:24 Brownfunkle I'm not bitter, I just don't want to work here. Bob People always think they are their own worst critic, but I think I'm a harsher critic of them. Tetta I could tell you didn't want to do it from the way you didn't do it. F.M. The title of the song is The Magic of Music but in the end it says Love is the greatest magic. Forget music. R.J. It's just like a Jackson Pollock but without the drippiness. Tetta Don't people know how to leave? Bobbie Lynne Hey guys, guys, the camera doesn't record sound. Oh it does? Sorry. Take two. FM That reminds me of the leafy appendages I learned about today that belong to sea dragons. Tetta I love crazy aunts, unless they're mine. Shina But when my pajama bottoms are in the wash, nobody gives a damn. Tetta You're not even peeling the orange, you're just holding it, and dancing. Howl My husband? Her? I mean, him? I don't care anymore. I have a dog. B.L. --What kind of hug was that? Adam, On Having Been Hugged When I was a little girl, I'd always take paint samples from the store, but I never bought their paint to paint anything. Tetta Aren't you a little chubby to be a guard dog? Staff I'd prefer a scrawny magic man to a strong non-magic man. Shina Mom, it might be a good idea to put on some pants. traditional Don't you want to stay? And glue your zebra pieces to your toilet paper roll? anonymous I'm always afraid it's going to seem too Partridge Family. Leroy Actually, the worst snack to have in the desert would be Ramen noodles, because they're really salty, and you'd use up all your supplies making them. Rambling Jim I didn't say all children were conceived on Valentine's Day, I said most of them are. Tetta Hurry, you're missing Romeo's butt. staff, to Tetta There was this serial killer that bit people he killed and they matched the teethmarks but after he was in prison for years it turned out he was innocent or maybe it was just something I saw on Extreme Makeover. C. C. Louisville I think I'd be good at hunting possums, because when they heard me, they'd play dead. Then I could whack them. Rambling Jim I wish they had a version of this game for the Spanish-American war. Rambling Jim The best stalker gift ever would be chapstick, used valentines, and weed flowers. Tetta Aw, look, he's crying little Scientology tears. anonymous If he was standing here he'd only be this tall, and mom would tell him not to stand on that. M.J. staff Keep on mumbling Brandon. That's what you're good at. Rambling Jim But the last thing I did wasn't very well though-out either, and it worked. C.C. Louisville Instead of you trying to get into the couch, I'd focus on getting the cat out of the couch. M.J. staff Ever have one of those days when everything reminds you of a song by Meatloaf? I was in beauty pageants before they were creepy, and that's my trophy. Klynn, Louisville If Joe ever sold all this stuff he'd be sitting on a land mine. Dennis L. So do you think the guy in the tree likes me? M.J.M staff I'd hate to live next door to us. Rambling Jim, staff Most of my parents died when I was young. I.L. Doesn't this smell like a teenager who wears too much perfume and then fell in a pond? C.C. staff All right, you've yelled some sense into me. Rambling Jim, staff I've never been so aggravated by a dreidel. anonymous This is a nice legal document, really nice. anon, online I doubt you've ever seen a drain this beautiful. Speed Museum, 11/18/06 Another skill I'll need to be a surgeon is cussing at the right time to make things more dramatic. Rambling Jim, staff The last time I saw Mark was the time he tried to sell me a towel. A.G. I'm going to Six Flags tomorrow because it sounded fun two days ago. C.C., staff Oh! I thought I moved my pinkie toe, but I didn't. Tetta Oh! There's this one video that teaches you how to dance! Tetta If mermaids are real they're going to be pissed. disputed, staff Long story short, that's why I'm naked. anonymous Everywhere I go people are trying to write mission statements. B.L., staff I look like that actress who looks like a foot. anonymous Jesus please help me get a good grade on my Hanuka project. Rambling Jim, staff I'm adapting the story like I was saying Violence Is Not The Answer when really I was laughing my head off. C.C., staff Maybe the mouse had a heart attack? and then buried himself? R.J and B.L., staff In a larger sense, didn't we all fail to eat the last dab of the cereal? Did I tell you how I accidentally hugged Marines? M.J.M., staff Why do people want crepes delivered? Jon c. Every time we have a party with sticks, somebody gets hurt. Al Not everybody knows about Anglo-Saxon runes, and they can’t read them, little sweetie. M.J.M. San Francisco,CA June 24, 2005 Please send overheard conversation to editor@heraldsparrow.com with your name as you would like it to appear.

Please send overheard conversation to

with your name as you would like it to appear.

Previously Overheard Conversation

Don’t look now but that’s my ex-church across the street. Rambling Jim

Guys who have fros don’t get jealous about other guy’s fros being bigger. And anyway mine was bigger than than his before I got my hair cut. M.Q.

Well, according to your career placement tests, you’re gay. staff

Somehow I lost a sloth last weekend. It's not like those things are very quick or anything, but you'd be amazed how far they can get if you don't check on them for two or three weeks. J. of A.T.

Guess what I’ve taken the liberty of. staff

It was a medieval theme, except for the things that weren’t medieval. Rambling Jim

Mommy! Daddy’s saying I’m like you. Tetta

You brushing your teeth triggered a chain of events that made me realize how thirsty I was. M.M.

Pesos con queso? Ellen E.

Mach schnell mit der Ramen vomit. staff

When I found out he Scotchgards™ his ties I began to doubt he could be happy with any woman. F.M.

I think I’m going to wear this outfit tomorrow just to get it over with. Bobbie Lynne

Sometimes, I’ll be driving, and I just want to be in a headstand. Even though I don’t do headstands! Zabby

Gee, it's getting late earlier now. BJ

If I was Achille’s mom I would’ve just thrown him in the river. Rambling Jim

She has two emotions: regular, and rage. E. S.

I never said you smell like a greaseball. Tetta

That's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me in a Taco Bell drive-through. M.J.

How would I know the religious views of whoever stole my wallet when I was passed out? Anonymous

I stand corrected, yet curiously apathetic. Ilex

I wrote a threatening note to him on a napkin but someone dipped it in orange juice and I thought that made it less intimidating. Tetta

I was trying to spell Darius Rucker's name so I googled "Hottie and the Blowfish," but those links didn’t help, at all. Anonymous

My mom always calls when I have video-game induced Tourette's Syndrome. Q.B.

Why are you trying to frighten my imaginary children? A.C.

I’m officially allowed to wear a cape. M.Q. Louisville

Come on out from back down up in under there. Edith M. North Carolina

And she got to ride in a police cruiser, like a movie star. Rambling Jim

I feel sorry for kids who have hot moms. Like that kid, over there. R.S.

Well, for someone who gives lectures, you're young. M.M.

They schedule you to fish for an hour in the middle of the day before arts and crafts, and you know how to fish but they keep telling you what to do the whole time, and then you have to go to arts and crafts. And I hate it. Rambling Jim

I just realized dogs don't have boobs! M.C.

Can I tell you about something that won't interest you and you won't understand but really frustrates me at work? Seth

I think I used to live around here. Brownfunkle

Someday I'm going to make a good commercial for gum. Rambling Jim

The eye doctor said my hair is prettier than yours. Tetta

You should totally take the dead squirrel to the eighth grade dance. E. S.

Make me make it work. Rambling Jim

Your mom was so mad, when she went in the door at Walgreens a baby bird fell out of its nest and it died. I had to get a stick and scoot it over in the shade. C.C. Summer of 08, Louisville

That's my favorite picture of you where you look like an Asian baby with facial hair. Tetta

Look at that lonely billboard. Tetta

People work harder when they're scared. BF

I love it when it's 4:24 Brownfunkle

I'm not bitter, I just don't want to work here. Bob

People always think they are their own worst critic, but I think I'm a harsher critic of them. Tetta

I could tell you didn't want to do it from the way you didn't do it. F.M.

The title of the song is The Magic of Music but in the end it says Love is the greatest magic. Forget music. R.J.

It's just like a Jackson Pollock but without the drippiness. Tetta

Don't people know how to leave? Bobbie Lynne

Hey guys, guys, the camera doesn't record sound. Oh it does? Sorry. Take two. FM

That reminds me of the leafy appendages I learned about today that belong to sea dragons. Tetta

I love crazy aunts, unless they're mine. Shina

But when my pajama bottoms are in the wash, nobody gives a damn. Tetta

You're not even peeling the orange, you're just holding it, and dancing. Howl

My husband? Her? I mean, him? I don't care anymore. I have a dog. B.L.

--What kind of hug was that? Adam, On Having Been Hugged

When I was a little girl, I'd always take paint samples from the store, but I never bought their paint to paint anything. Tetta

Aren't you a little chubby to be a guard dog? Staff

I'd prefer a scrawny magic man to a strong non-magic man. Shina

Mom, it might be a good idea to put on some pants. traditional

Don't you want to stay? And glue your zebra pieces to your toilet paper roll? anonymous

I'm always afraid it's going to seem too Partridge Family. Leroy

Actually, the worst snack to have in the desert would be Ramen noodles,

because they're really salty, and you'd use up all your supplies making them. Rambling Jim

I didn't say all children were conceived on Valentine's Day, I said most of them are. Tetta

Hurry, you're missing Romeo's butt. staff, to Tetta

There was this serial killer that bit people he killed and they matched the teethmarks but after he was in prison for years it turned out he was innocent or maybe it was just something I saw on Extreme Makeover. C. C. Louisville

I think I'd be good at hunting possums, because when they heard me, they'd play dead. Then I could whack them. Rambling Jim

I wish they had a version of this game for the Spanish-American war. Rambling Jim

The best stalker gift ever would be chapstick, used valentines, and weed flowers. Tetta

Aw, look, he's crying little Scientology tears. anonymous

If he was standing here he'd only be this tall, and mom would tell him not to stand on that. M.J. staff

Keep on mumbling Brandon. That's what you're good at. Rambling Jim

But the last thing I did wasn't very well though-out either, and it worked.

C.C. Louisville

Instead of you trying to get into the couch, I'd focus on getting the cat out of the couch. M.J. staff

Ever have one of those days when everything reminds you of a song by Meatloaf?

I was in beauty pageants before they were creepy, and that's my trophy. Klynn, Louisville

If Joe ever sold all this stuff he'd be sitting on a land mine. Dennis L.

So do you think the guy in the tree likes me? M.J.M staff

I'd hate to live next door to us. Rambling Jim, staff

Most of my parents died when I was young. I.L.

Doesn't this smell like a teenager who wears too much perfume and then fell in a pond? C.C. staff

All right, you've yelled some sense into me. Rambling Jim, staff

I've never been so aggravated by a dreidel. anonymous

This is a nice legal document, really nice. anon, online

I doubt you've ever seen a drain this beautiful. Speed Museum, 11/18/06

Another skill I'll need to be a surgeon is cussing at the right time to make things more dramatic. Rambling Jim, staff

The last time I saw Mark was the time he tried to sell me a towel. A.G.

I'm going to Six Flags tomorrow because it sounded fun two days ago. C.C., staff

Oh! I thought I moved my pinkie toe, but I didn't. Tetta

Oh! There's this one video that teaches you how to dance! Tetta

If mermaids are real they're going to be pissed. disputed, staff

Long story short, that's why I'm naked. anonymous

Everywhere I go people are trying to write mission statements. B.L., staff

I look like that actress who looks like a foot. anonymous

Jesus please help me get a good grade on my Hanuka project. Rambling Jim, staff

I'm adapting the story like I was saying Violence Is Not The Answer when really I was laughing my head off. C.C., staff

Maybe the mouse had a heart attack? and then buried himself? R.J and B.L., staff

In a larger sense, didn't we all fail to eat the last dab of the cereal?

Did I tell you how I accidentally hugged Marines? M.J.M., staff

Why do people want crepes delivered? Jon c.

Every time we have a party with sticks, somebody gets hurt. Al

Not everybody knows about Anglo-Saxon runes, and they can’t read them, little sweetie. M.J.M. San Francisco,CA June 24, 2005

Please send overheard conversation to

editor@heraldsparrow.com

with your name as you would like it to appear.