What it’s like to be a top-dollar call girl

as reported by Tommy Lee Jones

All a man can say at a time like this is I am not really a call girl. Top dollar. Any dollar.

   But you can’t help compare yourself to the high priced call girls. I always like to hear them talk about it. Never miss an opportunity to do so. So I’m informed. I’m a actor. I’m a empathetic individual. I can tell you how it is. You might think that’s funny. You might not. I don’t care.

     So here goes. 

   I was a struggling actress, in Manhattan, trying to succeed. The option was presented to me, and I decided I’d try it, the once, see if I could handle it. I could. And I continued until it wasn’t right for me anymore.

   One thing surprised me, most men are looking for companionship, somebody to connect with. For more than just an hour. A lot of the married men, I felt I was actually providing a service. Instead of having an affair, and maybe ruining their lives, they come to me. Take care of their physical needs.

   I don’t want to make it sound more glamorous than it is. People think it’s glamorous, or they think it’s dirty. It’s not just the one thing. It’s hard to explain. Like being a famous ichthyologist.

   I got out because I was anxious. Couldn’t sleep, felt something might happen. Had this nightmare I was walking into this gorgeous hotel, like the St. Regis, and all of a sudden I slip and fall in my four-inch Manolos, go tumbling across the carpet, spill my purse. $100 bills, condoms, lube, and then makeup, cell phone and all the other girl things. My life being exposed for the world to see, because a girl’s life is in her purse.

   I flew to Las Vegas to get this haircut. This one.

   Pretty Woman. I love that movie. Everyone wants to end up with Richard Gere, someone like that. Sweep them off their feet, take them away from Wilshire Boulevard, or wherever it was. And it does happen.

The Herald Sparrow