it has been a month of firsts, for me.   the first time i ever took a cruise.   the first time i've ever been on the surface of the earth, yet out of sight of all land.   the first time i ever went to Bermuda.   the first time i ever spent an entire week with just my father, 2500 complete strangers, plus a few hundred overworked and underpaid foreign workers.   the first time i was ever propositioned by a millionaire.   and the first time i ever stayed in a hospital or had surgery.

 

would you like to know the secret to going on a week-long cruise, where you eat a nonstop parade of mostly mediocre food (approximately 3 times your normal intake); you drink every night; you engage in only modest physical exercise; yet, in just another week or so, you are many pounds lighter than when you boarded ship?   the answer: immediately following your cruise, spend 10 days in a typical American hospital, attempting to eat their food.   it also helps if this coincides with a major malfunction in your digestive system.

 

in light of all this, i'm pleased to inform you that i have survived all these firsts, and am alive and well, currently convalescing on the south Jersey shore -- uh, if catching up on a month+ backlog of paperwork and bills, while sitting in view of the vast Atlantic ocean, counts as "convalescing" -- nourishing myself with fresh seafood, pizza (made the way God intended it), and Phily Cheesesteaks.

 

story summary:   i went on a cruise.   i had surgery.   now that i am neither on a cruise ship, nor in a hospital, i'm doing fine.