What have I learned in Youth Ministry?
Recently, one of my kids’ fathers (who is taking classes for ministry) asked me for an interview on my experiences in youth ministry thus far for one of his classes. I figured I might as well blog it.
1. How long have you been involved in youth ministry?
Full time? Almost one whole year! I started last year on April 1! But I’ve been involved through college, and if being a student minister in a youth ministry counts, I’d say I had a little experience in high school as well. So basically, I got no experience.... :) That’s why they call me “the rookie.” In fact, I have my own little segment of staff meeting entitled, “The Rookie Report,” in which the staff graciously shower me with wisdom and experience in different areas of ministry. Although, recently I have not been receiving the benefit of these sessions, which either means that I’m progressing beyond my rookie status, or they’re forgetting about me. :)
2. What is the biggest challenge you face?
Probably myself. The kids are great, parents unbelievably supportive, and church staff awesome. I don’t think you can blame those groups usually anyway....they are who you serve. No, my struggles are with myself, and maybe they are normal and healthy for a first-time youth pastor. I think a lot of uncertainty comes from never having led a youth ministry before, and my lack of experience is surely obvious here.
Specific things might include things like, having the plan all in your head and trying to get 15-year-olds to buy into it without them realizing that it’s my idea. That’s harder than it sounds. Luckily I have great mentors who model these things for me and I hope to continue to get better. Another thing is not spending enough time with God. Sometimes I’m so wrapped up in all the ministry things I must “do” that I never just “be” with the Lord (“we’re human beings, not doings”). I talk to God, read about Him, do his work, minister to others, yet fail to spend much quality time with no agenda just being with God. (But I am more conscious of this and am intentionally making an effort to correct this).
A third challenge (which may not be me) seems to be time. I’d like to have more time with the kids, other than Lighthouse (a bi-monthly vespers program) and Sabbath Schools, but the kids at Mesa Grande Academy (where almost 95% of my youth kids attend) are so deeply involved in extracurricular activities that there literally is no time for any church activities during the week. And, I don’t want to take too much Sabbath time away from their families, so I try not to schedule too many activities on Sabbath afternoons. This is a tough thing.
3. What is the most discouraging thing you face in your ministry?
So far it would have to be kids graduating from high school and at the same time, graduating from church. Statistics show that the age many Christians leave the church is after high school. There is also an added punch in the gut when they are not really in your flock anymore. You can still have a relationship with them, but it’s not the same as them being one of your students.
To be transparent though, I probably haven’t been in Youth Ministry long enough to be too discouraged yet.
4. What is the best thing about working for youth?
* Seeing them come to new realizations about themselves and God. When a student grasps a truth or begins to see themselves as a leader, it is such a great thing to witness.
* When a student wants to change their lifestyle and you get to help them through beginning that process. To see a turn-around in someone’s life, no matter what their age, is so gratifying, especially when they’ve put a lot of effort and determination into it.
* Projectiles, laughter, and horsing around at hours unknown
5. What are a couple of resources you have found to be especially helpful?
My First Two Years in Youth Ministry by Doug Fields
The God-bearing Life by Kenda Creasy Dean
Youth Worker’s Guide to Parent Ministry by Dr. Marv Penner
Paper Airplanes & Other Paper Projectiles by Just kidding
6. Are there one or two websites you visit regularly as you do ministry?
7. What is your "model" for youth ministry? Or is it still developing?
I think I thought I might have had an idea of what my “model” for youth ministry might be before I started here at Calimesa. But I’ve realized that each situation is unique, and the model will always be what works for each group. So my “model” is definitely still developing, but there are some things I’ve learned that I think are healthy anywhere you go.
Youth ministry should be a community effort. For whatever reason, kids stop listening to their parents at times when they enter high school, yet they will discover golden nuggets of wisdom from another parent or adult that tells them the same thing their parents are! Youth groups must have a wealth of adult mentors and parents to make sure that no kids are slipping through the cracks.
The students should decide what the youth ministry exists for, what it will be, what it will accomplish. If they aren’t making those decisions, there will be less involvement (if not physically, then mentally and spiritually) and it will actually be more work for the pastor.
Small groups are vitally important, especially in larger groups, because the youth pastor can’t connect with all the kids. This is where there is a ton of potential for spiritual growth that isn’t likely to happen in a big group setting. When kids get together with a trusted adult mentor, they are able to bounce ideas off them and grow in ways that are crucial to their spiritual development. If there is no place for them to ask questions, they never will. And that could be one of the worst things that could happen.
You should have some type of accountability system for accomplishing the goals and purpose your youth ministry has. This could be a purpose/mission statement or a check-list of areas you’d like to make sure you’re hitting. But if there is no “check-up” for goals, sometimes they can become lost in the midst of planning and activities.
8. What advice would you give to a youth pastor just starting out?
I hardly think I’m in any position to be giving out advice, but if I had to look back on this past year and identify what was the most helpful, I would say get a mentor (or more than one!), include a large group in the decision process of your new ministry (don’t make any solo decisions, and don’t make any huge sweeping changes right away.
You need a mentor, someone who has walked where you’ve walked, and can help you avoid the pitfalls of ministry, as well as point you in the direction of unknown successes. I’ve benefitted from a number of these people, including my whole pastoral staff.
And as a newcomer (and a newbie to ministry), you have no right to come in and “reform” anything; it’s not really your church. If there are any decisions to be made, they must come from inclusive dialogue with a large group of parents, adults, and students so that it’s their decision and you are not alienating yourself right from the get-go.
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These are just a few things off the top of my head from my experiences over this past year in youth ministry. I have no doubt my perspective will change as time goes on, and I hope that I will stay open to changing my views and mindset as my understanding and experience grows.
Thursday, February 28, 2008