Back when I was a teenager, I decided I wanted four kids. I never wavered. When dating Lacey, I was so excited to learn that she shared this desire. About seven years into struggling with infertility I was having difficulty believing it would come to pass, but the desire was always there.
Now that I am officially a father of four - I say “officially” because, as an extreme pro-lifer, I believe I’ve been a father of four for 41 weeks instead of just half a week - anyway, now that I’m an official father of four, I had a little conversation with myself about it:
Me: “Self, how do you feel?”
Self: “Tired.”
Me: What’s it like?”
Self: “I’m not quite sure yet, ask Tim and Denise.”
Me: “Want another one? Five?”
Self: (cue crickets chirping)
Me: “Why does everyone look at you bug-eyed when they find out you have four?”
Self: “Because kids are looked upon as an accessory to a lifestyle and four doesn’t fit the lifestyle.”
Self is right. We are living in an age in which a family with three kids is considered big. So families are now like t-shirt sizes: Small (1 kid), Medium (2 kids), and Large (3 kids). And here we are now, sporting an extra-large (4).
We haven’t been out in public yet with all four, but we know what’s ahead: the stares, the curious looks, etc. It’s hard to believe that we’ve reached a point in America where people are intrigued to see a family of six. Our friends have seven kids. I can imagine that they’ve been tempted to go ahead and buy a cage and charge admission.
One woman told me last week that if she was my wife she’d go jump off a bridge. That’s one of the stronger reactions I’ve received. Most people say, “Well, bless your wife’s heart” or the most common of all, “You’re sure going to have your hands full.” True, but I’m also going to have a heart full of love.
Which leads me to dispel a popular notion. Some people, after having their first child, say, “We don’t think we’re going to have any other kids because we’re afraid we could just never love another like with do this one.” Hogwash, pure and simple. Love is a choice and God will supernaturally give you the ability and the heart to love multiple children. For Christians, this is really no problem because the Bible says, “God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Rom. 5.5). You may have to give up some of your hobbies or other personal pursuits, but once you’ve done it, you’ll change your tune from having to give up those hobbies to getting to give them up.
The larger my family gets the more I enjoy being a father and a husband and the more I see the blessing of God in my home. Children are a blessing from the Lord. Why would I want less?
Sunday, August 5, 2007
