Plan F
 
On Thursday the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved over-the-counter sales of “Plan B,” a birth control pill which prevents a fertilized egg from implanting in a woman’s uterus. The mandate of the FDA is to review the science illustrating the safety and effectiveness of new drugs. There have been a number of cases recently to suggest they aren’t very good at it, and clear evidence that they consider their mandate a suggestion. The evidence for safety and effectiveness have been whole and evaluated since 2003, not as long as for VIOXX but still long enough that had Plan B the power to restore a preacher’s virility it would now be available in vending machines outside parsonages across this fair land. There is no secret hidden nor any insight needed but that the FDA was responding to a segment of society that, having read or at least obtained a copy of the New Testament concluded from their scholarship that the world of men ought to accommodate their exegesis. What message did Jesus give the Sadducees and Pharisees, after all, but that faith is the gift of government, pious behavior the providence of the regime and have you got change for a fiver? It’s bad enough to extract prayer from schools, ban theology from the ballot or deny the divinity of Christians, but to base science on the observable offends ev’ry epistle. The aim of this column, however, is not to criticize the minority of the majority faith that the current United States Government holds in such esteem, but to demonstrate using a random example from current events that what we call conservatism today is identical in form and by instinct to the liberalism of the recent past. Well-intended social manifestos, of which both the war on poverty and the pro-life movement are examples, receive government portfolios of such scope and importance that no function of government can proceed efficiently. In 1988, the Institute of Medicine of The National Academies produced a screed entitled “The Future of Public Health” which argued for restructuring the U.S.’ public health services to place more focus on the functional necessity of political savvy toward fulfilling the mandate of the agency. By 1993, when your correspondent began his professional career working in faith-based public health programs, The Future of Public Health had become scripture and was read reverently to argue that the responsibilities of Public Health agencies must include the prevention of income inequality and poor schools. Is it any wonder, now, that major portions of the Centers For Disease Control, the U.S. federal government’s primary public health agency, is now heavily engaged fighting the war on terror while the FBI is no doubt investigating the spread of venereal disease among teens and leftists? Eventually, the rise of ideology becomes the death of effectiveness in policy. Happens every time. Countless more appropriate venues to discuss sexual health exist including, but not limited to, the home, the place of worship, doctors offices, chiropractor’s offices, bars, HBO, gay discos and widow’s cruises. The ballot booth and the courts have the requisite lack of stimulation for a sober debate. The Food and Drug Administration has a simple job and plenty of unexpired VIOXX should the scientists get stiff in the doing of it. The Prattler Wordbook JEEP, n. A horseless shoe. JEER, v.i., v.t. To sympathize without empathy. JEKYLL, DR., n. A real scientist. JELLIFY, v.t. To soften, as with a call to arms. JELLY, n. The sole substance liberals and conservatives can agree on the nature of and purpose, each using it to think with. JENNER, EDWARD, n. The discoverer of the vaccine, but not one against the pharmaceutical advertisement. JEOPARDIZE, n. To encourage. JEOPARDY, n. A condition afflicting the uncouched. JEREMIAD, n. Discourse. JERUSALEM, n. A holy city of three faiths and countless sorrows. http://www.iom.edu/?id=15251shapeimage_2_link_0
Saturday, August 26, 2006
From the collection of Richard Samuel West / Periodyssey.