The Reader’s Digest Empire
 
The British Empire stood for over 200 years, a bulwark against simplicity and a beacon of cricket. The most recent attempt at empire, in defense of liberty and against variation seems to be ending badly and soon, smothered in a benevolent romance. O, Americans, we love peace not wisely but too well. And freedom. And the law. I intend Othello to be my last metaphor about my country’s catastrophic experiment with other people’s countries. All the metaphors that preceded have gone sour. Once we spoke of our war on terrorism being unlike that waged by the terrorists, but only the intentions are better. 9/11 has been avenged twentyfold on those who were innocent of it, and the people actually living there now face a graver danger than we ever have in this country from terrorism. Some of us used to compare the world with Saddam Hussein in power to the one with him in jail but we only know now that today’s brutality is more ferocious and less selective than yesterdays. The blood of many more innocents will be on our hands in the days and years to come. The time for self-righteousness, congratulation and analogy has passed. Somehow, though, self-righteousness, congratulation and analogy always seem to outlast their moment. Perhaps because they live on the tongues of partisans, a fertile culture coated with excellent preservative. It’s hard to refer to a lesson when none of the content is new, but the lesson that we outside the Middle East have the luxury of noodling on in peace is that the time of empire has ended. Not as a triumph of freedom or a dawning of peace, but because we no longer can listen to only our own scoundrels. Through the internet, by airplane and in hawaiian shirts, the sanctimonious perjuries perpetrated on one people are too soon encountered by the pious heresies of the far away. Without increasing the wisdom or worldliness of the typical human, we have at least become smarter than our governments which are exposed only to the internal inanity. In this way the great powers have become no more powerful than great. Governments are less and less able to control their people except my provocation which is a hard means for pacification. Forget the planning as poor as it was, the troop levels as wrong as they now appear to have been, spreading democracy by force was bound to fail because the bad ideas of the coalition are outnumbered by the follies of the rest of the world. The next empire will fail sooner than this has and this has been a catastrophe. It would be nice to call on the leaders and citizens of the world two reconsider their bad ideas or at least leave out the metaphor but this will only be when the world is at peace. Oh, and Lebanon is Cassio. Prattler will return December 23, to bring good cheer. The Prattler Wordbook GILT, v.t. To remember. GIMCRACKERY, n. Journalism. GIMLET-EYED, adj. Articulate. GIMMICK, n. An infant failure. GIN, n. A distillate of philosophy. GINGERBREAD, v.t. The architectural substance of witches’ homes, children’s dreams and the cookie of the purpose-driven life. GIRD, v.t. To prepare for an assault and predestine for an ambush. GIRDLE, v.t.. A suction-free liposuction. GIRTH, n. The measure of character. GIST, n. My point, exactly. GIVE, v.t. To provide, as an invoice. GIVEN, adj. Guessed. GLACIATE, v.i. To plan.
Saturday, November 25, 2006