TALENT, n.  Graceful beauty or gracious virtue.

TALK, v.  To Interrupt.

TALKING POINT, n,  Education without information.

TARIFF, n.  The perfect gift of government to the poor and working people who have everything.

TECHNICALITY, n.  Any instrument by which justice is satisfied in place of the plaintiff, public or press.

TEDIUM, n.  An excess of stimulation, intoxication, gratification, invigoration, appreciation, civilization, imitation, explanation, creation or love of nation. There is no standard for measuring the volume of tedium as the common unit, the microsecond (metric aeon,) expands with age, shrinks with time and multiplies in recitation.

TEETOTALER, n.  Someone in whom the weakness for alcohol succumbs to the temptation of pride. A member of that great class of humanity which opts for the deadly sin when a venal one is available.

TELEPHONE, n.  The visible part of a global charism devoted to the principle that only the dead shall know peace. A planetary leash, dragging the living in contrary directions by the ears.

TEMPT, v.t.  To provoke the desire to sin, especially in hindsight.

TENACIOUS, adj. Bearing the morality of a leech and the appeal of a flea.

TENACITY, n.  Quivering cowardice in the costume of a corsair, with a patch over one eye. The ardor with which the self-important pursue over-rated achievements among undervalued neighbors, except in the case of satirical lexicography which is a noble avocation even at three A.M.

TENANT, n.  The landlord’s lover until the real estate agent comes along.

TENANT FARMER, adj.  A perennial crop.

TEN COMMANDMENTS, n.  The germ of Western law and universal transgression.

TEND, v.t.  To make origami of.

TEND, v.i.  To incline towards as a plant does the sun or an actor does the moon .

TENDENCY, n.  A vector of dense probability such as a politician proclaiming unique originality.

TENDER, n.  A robust and accepted currency such as lying.

TENDER, adj.  Sunburnt.

TENEMENT, n.  A utopian.

TENET, n.  An elysium for progressives and plumbers.

TENSE, adj.  Fortunate and among family.

TENSION, n.  The opposing force of two follies.

TENTACLE, n.  A promise.

TENTATIVE, n.  Indefinite, uncertain, expected, anticipatory, predicted, proposed, probable, provisional or lacking sureness,  a word which has no synonym or meaning.

TERROR, n.  The wisping apparition of joy.

TELESCOPE, n.  A contraption of mirrors and lenses allowing desolation and emptiness to appear at a distance.

TIME, n.  The thief stealing our vitality, looks and illusions taking all but our pride which is left for our neighbors’ plunder.

TONEDEAF, adj.  Only too happy to sing for you.

TRAGEDY, n.  The gravity of history toward the comedy of destiny.

TRANSLATE, v.t.  To wrap one tongue around another for commerce or war.

TREASON, n.  The sudden recollection of another devotion.

TREASURE, v,t.  To love as a raven loves.

TREASURY, n. The national collection of foreign wealth.

TREAT, v.t.  To grace with a kindness that serves to remind us of favors we’d done in the past

TREAT, n.  The failure of an incumbent.

TREEHOUSE, n.  An outbuilding in which children gather to provide a moral example to Congress and there’s usually enough rope.

TRIP, n.  A journey starting with a single lick.

TROGLODYTE, n.  1.  A benighted hominid who slouches with arms dangling and brow furrowed, knuckles dragging and feet shuffling while speaking in grunts, growls and groans beyond the morning after.  2.  A satirical lexicographer in the sunlight.

TRUCE, n.  The exhaustion of wit and weapon.

TRUTH, n.  Bias.

TRUTHFUL, adj.  Disloyal.

TWICE, adv.  Incessantly

TYPE, v.  To enunciate with the fingers, toes or elbows the words of various other organs.