SACRAMENT, n.  A crowbar applied by the pious to the will of their deity.

SACRED, adj.  Beyond reproach as a popular president or a drunken poet.

SAINT, n.  A bronze statue scolding the brazen.

SALUBRIOUS, adj.  Promoting good health as a physician’s prescription for a man does a worm.

SANCTIMONY, n.  Bearing the compassion in a politician, the dignity in a drunkard or the burning morality of preacher and prostitute.

SAND, n.  To the surfer, wealth, and to the sailor, salvation.  To the farmer, humility, and to the hermit, company.  To the hungry, general relief.

SANDMAN, n.  The mysterious, mythological benefactor who comes to children in the night time and loses at video games.

SANDWICH, n. Manna for those wandering the television wasteland.

SANDY, adj.  Ready for Work.

SAN FRANCISCO, n.  A California city where birth is disdained as conventional and reincarnation as old fashioned.

SANGRIA, n..  A blend of wine, juice and spice for exotic, vibrant hangovers.

SANGUINE, adj.  Certain there’s an ace in the sleeve and a knife in the pocket.

SANHEDRIN, n.  The Jewish cabal that induced a millenium of Christian ones.

SANITARIUM, n.  A temple to the normal.

SANITARY, adj.  Satisfactory.

SANITATION, n.  The process of separating unconsumed waste from the hungry.

SANITIZE, v.t.  To defend.

SANITY, n.  1.  A condition diagnosed by the absence of its absence, preventable with constant monitoring and treatable with intensive therapy.

2.  A high tolerance for madness.

SAP, n.  Anyone who believes it takes a minute to birth a sucker.

SAP, v.t.  To marry.

SARCASM, n.  The witness of a fellow’s faith.

SARCOPHAGUS, n.  An ornate box in which to hold a dynast’s greatests treasure for safekeeping.

SARDINE, n.  A skinned congregant, blessed salty and anointed with oil.

SATIETY, n.  The first step toward dissatisfaction.

SATIRE, n.  A mocked man’s incomplete revenge and whiskey’s favorite chaser.

SAUCE, n.  A gourmet’s refinement, a gourmand’s alignment, a poet’s confinement or a lexicographers definement.

SAW, n.  A piece of evidence that while wisdom is native to the elderly, folly is eternal.  A fruit that ripened in the first garden which modernity cans for spread.

If time were a cloth to be stitched with delay,

And a penny in a pocket didn't rust or decay

And misfortune avoided those seeking self-help

And good fences raised properly my neighbor's whelp

Then we'd lay down our weapons and let slip our tools

And stare all day at the aged as leaders, not fools.

-Emil Gam

SCEPTER, n.  A royal symbol of despotism whose contemporary replacements include a puppy’s tail, a child’s tear, a woman’s ring or a man’s wallet.

SCHOLARLY, adj. Like, whatever!

SCRAP BOOK, n.  History as written by the losers.

SCRIBBLER, n.  A qualified physician or critic.

SCRIPTURE, n.  The unchanging word of the universal God, as currently interpreted by various tribes.

SCRIPTURES, n.  Divine narrative from which objective truths are inferred and universal ones extrapolated.

SCRUPLE, n.  The arm on a saint or the sleeve on a politician.

SEAL, n.  The portion of a Dear John letter providing closure.

SEEKER, n.  A rolling moss.

SELF, n.  Biographer, satirist, impressionist, audience.

SELFISH, adj.  Rising to the expectations of others.  Unable to see the forest for the mes.

SENATE, n.  The less lower house of the United States Congress, formed to protect the rights of minorities to discriminate.

SENATOR, n.  A legislative aide to the executive branch.

SENTIMENT, n.  The property of women that drove the first men from the forest and which now calls us back.

SENTIMENTAL, adj.  Moved by a new dawn or an old recipe.

SERENDIPITY, n.  The timely introduction of a killer into one’s circle of friends.

SERMON, n.  A religious exhibition typically beginning with a humorous anecdote and ending with the passing of the preacher.

SERPENTINE, adj.  Negotiable.

SEVERAL, adj.  Reconsidered.

In each of us there lies a dog,

Biter, barker and wagger;

And each of us contains a cat

Indifferent to our neighbor;

In every soul there flits a fly

That buzzes to annoy;

And a churlish, pink-nosed rat

Lives in every girl and boy.

Our memories are of running free

And hunting on the prairie

Though we spent the time we thus recall

Stock still in the dairy.

We introduce as red-toothed wolves

Whene'er we meet a mouse,

And this is why we love the zoo

But feel awkward in the house.

                                                               -Darwin Miyamoto

SEVERE, adj.  Like Friday’s compassion Monday.

SHADOW, n.  The observed portion of a looming catastrophe.

SHADY, adj. Furtive, secretive and sinister, like the purpose of one’s enemy or the method of a lottery winner.

SHAFT, n.  The grave of a man whose longevity exceeds his ambition.

SHERIFF, n.  The county official charged with keeping the peace and supplied with a fast car accompanied by shrill sirens, bright colored lights and filled with electrical, chemical, ballistic and blunt weapons for the purpose.

SHODDY, adj.  Unprecise.  Made in haste to be suffered at leisure as love or lexicography.

SHORT-ARMED, adj.  Extracting generosity through shyness.

SILENCE, n.  The medium by which men communicate their thoughts and feelings.

SIREN, n. A scurrilous term for an honest broker who simply trades what a man hasn’t for whatever he has.

SLANG, n.  Contemporary language disapproved of in archaic speech and clucking.

SMITHAREEN, n.  The first part that lasts, often pride of purpose.

A high mountain once featured

The three holy creatures:

Courage, Wisdom and Piety climbing

Courage braved the fierce wind

Wisdom found strength within

And Piety fought the cold whining.

Halfway to the summit, the spirits' paths met

With half the day before the sun would set

Piety, the prince, said, offering to lead,

"Ascent is my vocation

If you seek elevation

Get behind, follow and keep up with me.

But Wisdom, the true, did proclaim

"Fate under her own name

Must have brought us as one to this trial

It should be good karma

And a little bit warmer

To be comrades as we face the last mile.

Courage, the mighty, had gone on ahead

And in a gallant voice, said,

As he looked down below at the plummet,

"Here among the fast winds

You two surely fit in

Will there be this much talk at the summit?"

The three never saw the top

For progress there stopped

As battle tore the three from the side

If you climb those same heights

You can hear on still nights

The laugh of their smithereen, Pride.

SOBRIETY, n.  An outward expression of inner toxicity.

SOCIAL JUSTICE, n.  The collective struggle for inclusive conspiracy.  

The elite are all foreign, the common all kin

And the wise live over the ocean.

We all share one world, aversion to sin

And confusion at brownian motion.

You're the salt of the Earth, but hear me now, Mister!

For we aren't all so different on balance:

What binds us together as brother and sister,

Is thievery, given the chance.

-St. Loquacious

SOCIAL PHOBIA, n.  An architectural defect noted by the lack of alcoves, closets and coat racks.

SOCIALISM, n.  The principle product of industry.

SOFA, n.  The philosopher’s throne.

On a lost continent, over the seas

Rose Vyzas, Purdy and Glumi:

Three tiny nations, lovely to see,

Well governed, enlightened and roomy.

Vyzas was ruled by good men of science

Who governed by tested predictions

And made peer review a form of alliance

As they defined and discouraged addictions.

Purdy was painted, house, office and dale

By artists, who served also as mayors,

No sin was considered beyond the pale,

In this land of sellers without payers.

In damp, sylvan Glumi, each house filled with prayer

And every citizen was a priest.

All the people were equal with creeds to declare

And sought to be chosen the least.

Though the island is sunken or mislaid, it seems,

The memory was handed down to me,

Of the righteous societies of malcontents' dreams:

Vyzas, and Purdy and Glumi.

SORCERY, n.  A breath of natures spirit into the still air of a human mind through the ear.

SOUTHERN, adj. [engineering]  Precisely constructed of duct tape and prayer.

SPIN, n.  Piety.

SPLENDOR, n. The incitement of a ne’er-do-well or the sedation of a killer.

SPY, n.  A tradesman honored for curiosity and persecuted for knowledge.

STAMINA, n.  Stubbornness, euphemistically.

STAMPEDE, n.  The disagreeable in harmony.

One old cowboy was out one day driving a herd

With his boss, boss's son and dog named Dale.

The crew and kine moved, without moo, bark or word,

Easy, somber and slow down the trail.

A few dark clouds gathered and a chill filled the air

And the old cowboy pulled tight his serape.

The foreman pulled his hat low on his hair

But the young feller yelled at his pappy.

"I ain't paid for this crap and won't ride in a cyclone!"

Though no drops yet smote critter nor cowhand.

"We'll all die from lightning, damp butt and cold bone,

Or from drowning here, miles from plowed land."

The foreman said "Son..." but the boy kept on cussing

And Dale yipped for agreement or fun.

Coyotes yelped back, and the cows started fussing,

'Til some choice words put them to the run.

The trail was a tempest, though rain never came down,

The foreman was kilt trying to turn the stampede.

The boy fired his pistol trying to reach dad on the ground

'Til a bad shot dropped him from his steed.

Dale found a new home where they preach the LORD's glory,

And tend to his comfort and spirit.

The old man's still riding and telling this story

And it's funnier each time you hear it.

A line was cut off, a cowherd was lost, 

There's a lesson, if you're willing to barter:

Pour me some whiskey, and I'll tally the cost

Of mist on the cheek of a martyr.

STILL, adj.  Ready.

STILLNESS, n.  The evidence of depth, nobility or absence.

STORM, n.  Whatever you walk blindly through.

SUCCESS, n.  A historian’s account of soldier’s death, scientific observations selected, a poet’s regard for a martyr or the prediction of someone elected.

SUFFICIENT, adj.  Available.

SUFFRAGE, n.  The transformation of a subject of government into an object of lies.

SYCOPHANT, n.  The smartest guy in the room.

SYLLOGISM, n.  A precise representation of a meandering lecture.  An atom of babble.

SYMBOL, n.  A representation in line and angle for a nimbus of truth and moon. A draft against future foresight. A jester's halo, a fool's compass, a point for those who have no other and to the satirical lexicographer, a trap.

SYMBOLIC, adj.  Poetic, obscure, nonbinding.