Q-TIP, n.  Yet another apparatus for lightening the head.

QUADRANGLE, n. On a college or University campus, the site where students attend to their business of gawking, flexing, drooling, and drinking to celebrate good grades.

QUADRENNIAL, adj.  The frequency of profound social rituals such as presidential elections, olympic games and weddings.

QUADRUPEDAL, adj.  Monolingual.

QUADRUPLE, adj.  Reexaggerated.

QUAGMIRE, n.  A successful voter at a police stop.

QUAIL, n.  A feathered congressman.

QUAKE, v.i.  To consider the intransigence of an equal.

QUALITY, n..  A trait or characteristic such as slanderousness or libelousness.

QUALITATIVELY, adv.  Subjectively.

QUALM, n.  Phase I of a decision.

QUANDARY, n.  Phase II of a decision.

QUANTITY, n.  The number reported.

QUANTITATIVELY, adv.  Approximately.

QUANTUM THEORY, n.  A religion devoted to miniscule Gods with measuring sticks.

QUARANTINE, adj.  To ordain for infection.

QUALIFIED, adj.  Well-named.

QUEEN, n.  The daughter of a mother’s son.

QUERY, n.  Blasphemy and high treason.

QUERY, v.t.  To encourage lying.

QUESTION, n.  The evidence that standardized test writers aren’t too bright.  If you don’t know an antonym for “studied” then you shouldn’t be making up tests for those who are.

QUESTION, v.t. To remisunderstand.

QUEUE, n.  A sequence or chain of “U”s and “E”s.

QUIBBLE, v.i, v.t.  To negotiate for conflict.

QUIET, adj.  Blessed among women.  Virtuous.  Virginal.

QUILT, n. A labor-intensive sleeping aid.

QUILTING BEE, n. Gossip with real needles.

QUININE, n. A substance used for preventing malaria and flavoring gin.  The homeopathic remedy for mindless fever.

QUIXOTIC, adj.  Certain of one’s objective, sure of the outcome and trusting to error in either assumption.

QUORUM, n.  A parliamentary safeguard that prevents action until the number of participants is sufficient to insure inaction.

QUOTATION, n.  The elevation of another fool’s wisdom to greater depth.