OBLIVION, n.  The destination of a journey filled with learning, anticipation and wonder.  See MORNING.

OBSOLETE, adj.  Able to inspire hope in the aged or love in an engineer.

ODE, n.  An appreciation of any vessel strong enough to cnstrain a tortured metaphor, large enough to hold a poet’s delusion, and conveniently named,

ODOR, n.  The least regulated sense.

OFFEND, v.i.  To remind.

OFFENSE, n.  The basic freedom in the penumbra of the U.S. Constitution.

OFFER, v.t.  To grant unilaterally, as steak knives or a fabulous vacation.

OFFERING, n. Holiness.

OFFERTORY, n.  The portion of the liturgy between the preamble and the recessional.

OFFICE, n.  A hollow box in which a person’s value is kept.

OFFICE-HOLDER, n.  A successful scoundrel.

OFFICE HOURS, n. The peak period for idleness.

OFFICIAL, n. A dignitary with many responsibilities and few duties.

OFFICIALDOM, n. A global gaggle of golfers, gofers, gophers, goldbricks, gomers, gustators, gesticulators, garibaldis, gadabouts, gadflies, gasbags, ghouls, ghosts, goblins, gibbons, generals, geronimos geldings, gate-crashers, great men and garish geese.

OFF-KEY, n. In unison.

OFFSHORE, adj. Essential.

OLD BOY, n.  An old man.

OLD FASHIONED, adj. Like grammar, spelling and dial-up modems.

OLD GLORY, n.  An alternative loyalty to the constitution, as the steeple is to the Gospel.

OLD MAID, n.  A female lecher.

OLD TESTAMENT, n.  The Good News with bad ends and brimstone.

OLFACTORY, adj.  Sensible, as a pep-talk.

OLIGARCH, n.  A citizen or slave.

OLIVE, n..  The fruit of wisdom, when combined with pimento and vodka.

OLIVE BRANCH, n.  Bait.

OMELET, n.  Policy over eggs.

OMEN, n.  A sparrow in a raven’s nest, rumors of war in the East or a cloud that looks like a kitten.  Evidence that the neighbor has it coming.

OMNIPOTENT, adj.  Unelected.

OMINOUS, adj.  Promising.

OMISSION, n.  The portion of a text of interest to the thorough reader.

OMNIVOROUS, adj.  Unhurried.

ONE-HORSE, adj.  Tiny, as a town having only two tales with twenty tellers.

ONE-SIDED, adj.  Opposed.

ONLINE, adj.  Employed but not well.

OPPORTUNITY, n.  The concurrence of a desire, the desired and a means for joining the two. For example, a thirsty traveler, an oasis in the desert and a stealthy cannibal

OPPOSITION, n.  A political party opposing the hypocrisies of the majority by imitation, dilution and symmetry.

OPTIMISM, n.  Fatalism with lower expectations.

OPTIMIST, n.  A person able to see the glass as half-shattered.

ORACLE, n.  A prophetic lichen.

To a lonely desert village, just outside of L.A.

Came a wanderer searching for meaning.

There was said to be an Oracle, far less rare today,

And two dogs to interpret the gleaning.

For the legend was written from sidebar to scaffold

That, without even charging a fee,

The magus was kind to the bitter and baffled

And a master of lexicography.

The journey was long and the way hard to follow

And mystery shrouded the labors.

For the pathway was bent like the flight of a swallow

And the house, it looked just like its neighbors.

But the seeker, at last, discovered the master

Sitting sagely beneath a broken tree

"Tell me, Oh wise one, for my life's a disaster,

What does it mean to live free?"

The oracle nodded his head, wise and kind

and spoke in a voice low and hoarse

"That is a verb, intransitive, and defined

'To elect one's slaveholder', of course."

And then the wise man rose with a flourish

And, turning his wise and kind head,

Pointed to the seeker and addressed the chorus

"If you don't mind, please explain what I said."

--Padre Juniperro Serra

ORATORY, n.  A sermon delivered to convert the audience, chiefly making fools of followers.

ORDINARY, adj.  Widely attributed as nobility among the dead or celebrity among the living.

ORIGIN, n.  First cut.

ORTHODOX, n.  A dedicated innovator of ancient beliefs.

OSTRICH, n.  The evolutionary successor to the owl as mascot for the fourth estate. Cultural naturalists debate whether the Ostrich itself will soon suffer the fate of it's predecessor, replaced by a really cute caged songbird.

OUT, v.t.  To prevent pretense from obscuring the obvious.

OUTCOME, n.  Any occurrence that causes counting.

OUTRAGE, n.  The commonest coin in the marketplace of piety.

OVERCHARGE, v.  To charge.

OVERDOSE, n.  A form of excess still recognizable to Americans.

OVEREAT, v.i.  To prepare oneself for virtue.

OVERPLAY, v.  To keep aces in one’s sleeve at a hockey match.

OVERWORK, v.  To place an agonizing stress upon the carpal tunnel, sciatic structure, kiester or vocal chords through the application of effort in excess of 2.2 foot-pound-hours per joule of complaint or carat of compliment.  Insufficient overpayment.

OYSTER, n.  An aphrodisiac whose power is testified by the drunk.