NAME, n.  A customized euphemism for ugly.

NAME, v.t..  To claim.

NAMELESS, adj.  Unknown, anonymous as an unpublished poet or a famous blogger.

NAMESAKE, n. A minor revision.

NANNY, n.  Baby’s first despot.

NANNY GOAT, n.  In Greek Mythology, a provider of nectar and ambrosia baby Gods and Goddesses.  In agriculture, a producer of ulcers to fence-builders.

NAOMI, adj.  The mother-in-law to Ruth in the Old Testament and the first expert on romantic love.

NAP, n..  A respite from the cares of a day off.

NAPALM, n.  The Devil’s hair gel.

NAPERVILLE, n.  The suburb of Chicago in which Hillary Clinton was raised and formed her attachment for the New York Yankees.  Lesser treasons to follow.

NAPKIN, n.  A shirtsleeve.

NAPOLEON, n.  A French warrior, an English pastry, a small bully or an attorney-at-law.

NARCISSISM, n.  Democratic idolatry.

NARCOLEPSY, n.  A disease characterized by frequent and sudden sleeping spells which may be caused by a virus, psychology or algebra.

NARCOTIC, n.  A pharmaceutical sermon.

NARRATOR, n.  The proxy of the approximate.

NEFARIOUS, adj.  Foreign.

NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE, n.p.  History’s most regulated chaos.

NEWS, n. sing. and plur.  Formal information formatted for the infernally uninformed.

The mountain from which Henry fell

Was three miles high. Four from hell.

But the spot from which he left the side

Was merely inches from the tide.

Nonetheless before he made contact

He pictured headlines on the rack

And finally was not disappointed,

For Henry had been news-anointed.

The Wall Street Journal and CNN,

The London Times and countless pens

on countless blogs with pseudonyms,

And countless priests in between hymns

Devoted endless lamentation

To Henry's airborn pirouation.

Every eye to which some sight remains

Saw proof of his unmortal pain

In featured shots of his scraped knee

Captioned "The Erosion of Celebrity."

NEWTONIAN, adj.  Subject to inertia and accusations of liberal bias.

NIRVANA, n.  A place of punishment for a life without transgression.

NOBLE, adj. In chemistry, physics or policy-making, inert or unchanging.

NOISE, n.  An incoherent buzzing such as is caused by research, reflection or a mosquito’s wings.

NOMAD, n.  Someone who replaces their shoes often and their carpets never.

NOMINEE, n.  A biography gaining flesh, a photo gaining breath and a promise seeking the means to be broken.

NON-COMBATANT, adj.  Hawkish.

NONSENSE, n.  The first draft of a speech or a revised prophesy.

NOVOCAINE, n.  Political reform.

NOWHERE, n.  The plain English translation of Utopia, a perfect place where those who deceive us are educated and our enemies keep terrible weapons.

NOXIOUS, adj. Well-informed.

NUANCE, n.  The root of all failure.

NUCLEAR, n.  The Mount Everest of oratory.

NUER, n.  A tribe of southern Sudan, cousin and enemy to the Dinka who the Nuer accuse of stealing cattle by guile.  The Dinka accuse the Nuer of taking cattle by force.  Both tribes stand accused of infidelity by the government and colonialism by the cattle.

NUGGET, n.  An honest proclamation.

NUT, n.  The fruit of either a tree or the land of the free.

When we consider the human condition

We might fear we've become inorganic,

Preparing our blogs' latest edition

And typing through our social panic.

From the forest we've come and to daisies we go.

Like veggies, we strive in between.

A GPS system and keyless car doors

Come complete when we try to go green.

Fruit can be found in trees and on vines.

Fruit can be found on store-shelves.

The sour, young lemon is found in the lines

That poets still write to themselves.

So it's not that man's nature has been suppressed

And it's not that our future won't fit us.

When you wake up and before you get dressed

Ask yourself "Can I make better citrus?"