Two months of travel- finally home!
Whoa. It’s been a busy summer.
I’m finally back home- after nearly two months of constant travel.
That’s me in the picture above- second in from the left, with my son Alex on my right hip.
I’ve gotten a lot of sun this summer. Several people commented they liked “my new hair color.” Oddly enough, my hair is the same color it’s been for the past 20 years.
I mean, I do lighten my hair. I’ve lightened my hair since, well, since the lighter hair I had when I was a kid turned a darker shade of brown during my teens. I didn’t like it. My brothers were still blonde. I felt ripped off, and bought into the whole “blondes have more fun” thing.
So, I’ve been using “Shade # 90, Macademia Nut Blonde” for years now. Never change it. $6 a box. Takes about 12 minutes once a month. Simple enough.
But, I guess all the time I’ve spent outdoors this summer has made my German-Irish skin darker, and my “Shade # 90” hair even lighter.
Well, so be it.
My son’s appearance has changed, too. Alex has olive skin, since he is is “hapa haole,” (mixed caucasian/Pacific Islander.) In the winter, his skin will lighten until it is just a few shades darker than mine. In the summer, he will tan so deeply that his skin takes on the same rich, beautiful, chocolate tones as his father.
We were in Manhattan last week and a lady stopped me on the subway just to tell me “how beautiful he is.”
People who compliment Alex generally always say “HE,” rather than “your son.” He looks so different from me appearance-wise, that people don’t usually make the connection that he is my biological child, unless my husband is with me, (than they get it.)
People who compliment Alex generally always say “HE,” rather than “your son.” He looks so different from me appearance-wise, that people don’t usually make the connection that he is my biological child, unless my husband is with me, (than they get it.)
When we are at the German Club Oxroast a few days before, (a summer festival), Alex was decked out in his full tradition German lederhosen.
“Three people stopped me to ask if they could take my picture,” Alex said to me, on his way back from buying a bottle of water.
Well, my tan, little lederhosen-wearing surferboy and I are finally home back in California.
It’s been an exciting summer but it’s good to be home.
We headed to Kauai two days after school ended.
Kauai was an interesting trip.
I loved the first week. We stayed in a condo in Princeville. The condo was simple, but it felt like home. It was 1,800 square feet, which actually is about the size of our home! So, we had lots of room to spread out, and if I woke up before Jovani and Alex, I could go into another room, turn on my computer, and do some writing.
We were only ten minutes from Hanalei. We love Hanalei for the gentle, perfect summer surf conditions. It was the absolutely ideal place to teach a young child like Alex how to surf. The waves break on a sand bar, rather than a coral reef. (I still have scars on one arm from a bad coral reef wipe out over ten years ago.)
There are minimal rip tides. Several of the other Hawaiian islands, and even other beaches on Kauai, have severe riptides at the beaches. Tragically, there are several stories a year of tourists being swept away by riptides after venturing out into a beautiful, secluded beach that “looks like paradise.”
Now, you do have to be prepared for the weather- it rains several times a day in Hanalei. There’s a gorgeous mountain peak there with this huge waterfall, (forget what it’s called.) Jovani said it’s one of the rainiest places on earth. I wouldn’t doubt it.
We have this great little beach tent, called a “Sun Mate.” Pops right open, and easily holds the three of us. We stash all our gear in there. When one of those rain storms start, we sit in there. Granted, we are there to surf, so we are already wet, but the rain is COLD, so it feels very unpleasant on your skin. So, we relax in our tent, wrapped in our warm, DRY, towels, eat our snacks, and watch the people without tents all go running for their cars. The rainstorms always pass in just a few minutes. The sun comes back out, and we get back to playing in the sand, surfing, swimming, or whatever we were doing.
During our second week in Kauai, we stayed at the Marriott in Lihue. My husband travels quite a bit, so he racks up a lot of Marriott points. You can then use these points like frequent flyer miles. So, our Marriott points cover the cost of a basic room, and we usually splurge for the upgrade charge to get a room on a higher floor, with a partial ocean view, (mainly, you get a view of the pool, but, at least its higher up in the building, so its a lot quieter.)
The Marriott was something of a let-down after the condo. I can’t quite put my finger on it... I think I just liked the peace and quiet of the condo. In the hotel room, we just had the one room, so if I woke up early, there was no place I could retreat to and do some writing. I love doing my early morning writing. A couple times I sat down on the bathroom floor, leaning up against the tile wall, below the towel rack, hoping the light slipping out under the door wouldn’t wake up Jovani and Alex.
But, maybe I’m just not made for fancy hotel living. I don’t particularly like having to eat meals out three times a day. Eating in a restaurant, particularly an expensive one, isn’t exactly a great joy when you have a six-year old along.
Three bites into the meal...
“I’m done! Can we go now?! What are we doing next? How long do I have to sit here? Can we go back to the pool? Can we rent the giant turtle float next time? When are we going kayaking?.... Aren’t you done yet?! I’m done!”
I mean, the hotel is beautiful, the staff is friendly, and they have the largest single-level pool in the state of Hawaii. (This means that somewhere there is a double-level pool that is bigger. They always mention that “single-level” part when talking about how big their pool is...)
But, something else bugged me a bit this year about our Marriott visit, and it had nothing to do with the Marriott.
Because we left for Kauai as soon as Alex got out of school, (June 13th), most of the East coast schools were still in session. So, we were ahead of the summer crowds. There weren’t a lot of other children there. Alex was the only child to sign up for the Kids Camp. He absolutely loved the camp, by the way, the Kalapaki Kids Club, and the counselors were wonderful. (He had two counselors all to himself, all week long.)
Many of our fellow vacationers were older than us. From conversations with my Dad, who is turning 75 in a few months, I know he was raised in an era of racial intolerance.
Obviously, my brothers and I were raised in a different era. My brother Chris’ first wife was of Korean ancestry, making my niece Leilani mixed-race, just like my son.
I’m sure it took my Dad some time to get used to the idea of these mixed marriages.
Well...
When Jovani and I were walking around the Marriott, holding hands, with our mixed race child holding our hands between us, we got “the look.”
We only get the “the look” when we travel to certain parts of the country, and I won’t single any place out, because I don’t want to offend anybody.
To get to the restaurants, we had to walk down this long hallway, with comfortable plush chairs, and wicker rocking chairs, that overlooked that giant pool. (You know, that largest single level in Hawaii one...)
As we made that walk down the long hallway, the people rocking in the wicker rocking chairs, gave us “the look.”
We hardly ever get that look where we live, (San Francisco’s “South Bay” area, also known as “Silicon Valley.”) There are tons and tons of mixed couples here. On our street, there are 15 kids. Only 2 of those kids are “wonder bread” kids, (white/white kids.)
I suppose I felt like I was pretending to be something that I wasn’t when I was there.
We’ve been to that Marriott before- twice, I think. We stay at Marriotts all over, because we sometimes accompany Jovani on his trips.
But, I guess this particular trip just drove home the point to me that I just prefer a simpler life-- one with less pretense. Less judgement on outward appearances. More appreciation for people’s intellect and qualities as an individual-- like we have here at home.
I suppose this vacation just drove home the point that I live where I truly belong, and I wouldn’t want to live anyplace else.
We returned from Kauai at the beginning of July, and had three days to get the house ready for a week long visit from my brother and his two kids.
My brother lives in Stamford, CT, and works on Wall Street. (He was very close to one of the towers when the second plane hit on 9/11. He ran for three blocks with a panicked mass of people. He said there was no way he could stop running, even if he wanted to, because there was this whole mass of panicked people running behind him, pushing him and all the people ahead of him along. I’ve got his story, and his photos from that day somewhere here on my website, if anyone’s interested.)
We had a great visit. In the mornings, we had Alex signed up for “Lego Camp” with his cousin, Zach. The two boys adore Lego, and Star Wars, and Indiana Jones, and all the things six and seven year-old boys are just crazy about. They loved the camp, and were inseparable for every moment of the day in the afternoons. I had a chance to spend some one-on-one time with my ten-year old niece. We went shopping, went to the bookstore, had some all-important, heart-to-heart “girl talk,” and, of course, we took all of them surfing. My husband took my brother out twice for drives along the coast, and beer and calamari at nice beachside restaurants, so the two could enjoy some “guy talk.” And, we also worked in taking them to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, Raging Waters (a big water slide place), and a coupe other local attractions. It all worked out very well.
Ah, well, so that was the first part of July.
Three days later, Alex and I were on an airplane again.
We flew to New York for a 14-day visit with my parents. All my brothers joined up with us at my parents’ place, and we crammed everyone in the house, including all the grandkids, my brothers’ girlfriends, and their kids. (All my brothers are divorced, or in the process of getting divorced. My husband and I are the only ones with a successful marriage.)
I enjoyed being with my parents. Well, OK, it’s easy being with Mom, when she’s by herself. And, it’s relatively easy being with Dad when he is by himself, but he does get frustrated very easily when he is trying to learn new things on the computer. He wants very badly to learn, but it does not come easily to him, and then he gets mad at the computer and yells: “What is it doing now?!”
I keep reassuring him: “Dad, it is not alive. It is a computer, not a living thing. It is not doing anything. If you mouse-click five times instead of two, the computer will take you very literally, and try to launch the program five times. So, you must be patient after you click the mouse, and wait for the program to open. No more mouse-clicking until AFTER it opens, OK?”
That about sums up most of our computer sessions, but, I give my Dad a lot of credit. He keeps trying. He is taking classes at the senior center, and he has not given up.
My Mom is also taking classes at the senior center, and learning comes much more easily to her. She does not get frustrated as easily, (unless it comes to dealing with Dad.) She’ll look up computer problems in the manuals provided by her instructor at the senior center, and has even troubleshooted some computer problems completely on her own.
So, I spent most of my time in New York helping my Mom and Dad with projects around the house, and when my brothers were there, catching up with them, and their lives. Their lives are quite a bit more complicated than mine. I’m very glad I’m not divorced.
We’re home now, and, wow, it feels good to be home. All of our trips were good ones, but now, I just want to stay in my house and not go anywhere.
Busiest summer in recent memory.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
