What really matters- Social Approval Needs- As toddlers develop more social awareness, they soon begin seeking approval from those important to them. Toddlers want their efforts to be rewarded   with attention, excitement and approval. Praise, the more the better but you want it to be descriptive of what was accomplished. Instead of the frequent “good job”, try to describe what happened: “Wow, look at how tall your block tower is. You placed 1, 2, 3 blocks in that tower, congratulations”. Start early as you want to value how effort leads to specific results that get the attention and praise. (See Quarterly write-up for full description of “Empathy & Heart Qualities”)

How to put it into practice-

My Experience-

Whitney as most toddlers enjoyed stacking blocks on top of each other to create a tower. She would most of the time, look up at me after each block was successfully placed as if to say “see I did it” and get my approval. I would certainly play along describing what Whitney was doing and showing my excitement. (see Block Tower video)

Tuning In-

We are never really certain what is going on inside that little head of our toddlers. But it is always fun to speculate. Whitney’s baby babble in this video really threw me for a loop as I had no idea what she was saying nor what purpose it was serving so I tried to focus on the block building. On thing I could done there is shifted to different surfaces to explore the effects. The surface of the rug made it particularly difficult to get the third block to stack without falling. If we moved just a couple feet we could have compared the tower build on the wood floor to the carpet and probably made some discoveries there.

Extending/Bridging-

Our toddler's increasing attention to your responses offers opportunities to support their understanding of standards, results and their emotional responses in reaction to them.  Acknowledging their accomplishments gives them positive reinforcement to continue their efforts. Revealing concern when something breaks, a drink spills, or someone gets a cut supports his/her development of understanding that mishaps occur and that there are things we can do to make them better.  Verbal praise for achievements is good, but not always necessary.  Use your own discretion.  Tell our toddlers how we feel.