What really matters- Revealing Affection via Kisses- One sign of our toddlers growing ability to show affection is their increased frequency of kisses. We should encourage these kisses by asking for them, giving them our full attention and appreciation. (See Quarterly write-up for full description of “Empathy & Heart Qualities”)

How to put it into practice-

My Experience-

The onset of Whitney puckering up for a kiss was one of the most adorable periods and was up there with the first smile, the first hug and then the first kiss as a real heart warmer, or heart melter. Each expression is a window into the heart of our toddlers and reveal the affection she holds for us. I would always try to elicit and support this feeling of affection in Whitney with Good-bye hugs and kisses, Hello hugs and kisses and plain old sitting on the steps hugs and kisses (see Kiss video). There is a tangible feeling that is always associated with a kiss. The more frequently and the more we can sustain and the more we can reward those feelings of empathy and affection, the more they will blossom in our children.

Tuning In-

Kisses were so much fun that I bordered on being the pushy parent looking for any excuse to solicit one. Again those opportunities naturally come up throughout the day--  at arrivals and departures, when some gets hurt or gets sad, when something wonderful or exciting happens or just hanging out together like I was doing on the stairs. Mom, Dad and all the siblings can solicit these moments of affection. And even Whitney began to initiate them.

Extending/Bridging-

Even if you cannot extend the kisses, often you can extend that underlying feeling of affection with longer stares and prolonged goggly eyes in silly moments; and with prolonged concern and affection in moments of booboos or to turn around feelings of hurt or sadness. Again our toddlers have a rich capability to experience these affectionate feelings and we should be doing all we can to encourage and support them.