What really matters- Exchanges about Emotions. One of the key developments to look for this period is called “social referencing”. While Whit is exploring her world, she needs to feel secure and gets that security from us adults in her life. I noticed Whit’s growing tendency to look at me for guidance in uncertain situations. For example, if she knew that she was not supposed to do something before she was about to do it she would look at me and make sure I was there for safety. Most of the time, unless I made a real cross face and meant it, she would go ahead and do what she knew she was not supposed to as she felt secure. She was adept at reading my emotion and paid less attention to my words. In the video labeled “Power Cords”, Whit demonstrates how she went for the cords after a quick glance to read my emotion.

Whit and babies check-in emotionally with you in lots of situations. if she fell down or tumbled over unexpectedly she would look to me to see if everything was OK. I usually smiled and said in an upbeat tone something like: “You fell over; it’s ok” she would feel fine and get right back up on her fours and crawl on. I noticed when mom showed a worried face for the same tumble, Whit would start to cry. Whit and babies can read parents’ emotions and it effects their own emotions and behavior.  

How to put it into practice-

Provide a secure emotional base with your facial cues. When Whit started to move around, it was important for you to provide the physical and emotional support to encourage exploration.

Whit would frequently look towards us when in new situations. For example, When we entered a new room together, Whit would sometimes immediately cling to my neck or legs. I would walk around the room with Whit on my hip,  pointing out a few familiar objects, such as the windows.  Look out the window together and see what is there.  This not only takes the focus off the new situation, but would bring Whit back to a familiar environment (sky, cars, street, trees, etc.). 

I would generalize this strategy by always using Whit’s cues as guidance, introducing new situations by weaving together familiar and comfortable objects with new and exciting. 

Why-

By providing a secure emotional base (by being available when your baby wants to explore) you are helping her discover the world and figure things out. Her confidence in her adventures is bolstered by your her feeling you secure emotions.