What really matters- Clear Limits- As mentioned in the quarterly introduction, toddlers need to discover the “laws” of what they should and should not do. Hitting is clearly a no-no. All caregivers need to enforce and explain this early “law” .

How to put it into practice-

So how do we best provide the needed discipline and limits that get our child to respect our rights and others’ needs while at the same time respecting the rights and needs of our child.

So here is the advice experts give such as Tom Lickona, author of Raising Good Children and Educating for Character and my experience with trying to apply it:

After an immediate “No Hitting” (see “The Hit” video on right), then we would try to always state the rule and the reason for it. here “If you hit your dada it is an ‘ouch’.” (see the “Hit Coaching” video to right) Reasons for rules get us all off to the right start. By reasoning with them, we help them develop their ability to reason about right and wrong.

We would also try to provide the clear positive model of acceptable behavior. If they hit, take their hand and show them how to touch and stroke gently. The video on the right, “Hit Coaching”, reveals how Whitney can clearly envision the other alternative of gentle touches, not hitting. And can engage in an early form of reasoning about what is acceptable and unacceptable.