Lisa's Story

An extract from Lisa’s Story

I became pregnant with my first child in early January; well at least I think I did. Sometimes it’s not very easy to tell. Anyway, by February I was suspicious and so I bought myself a test kit and it was positive. I was ecstatic and so was Tom. We hadn’t been trying for very long, but we still were surprised how quickly I did get pregnant.

I was quite pleased that I had organised private health insurance over a year earlier as that meant I was able to get a private obstetrician to deliver my baby. Tom and I had discussed where I was going to have my baby and the decision hadn’t taken us long. We wanted the best for us and therefore our private insurance allowed us to get our chosen obstetrician. We had been told that Dr Watts was a good obstetrician and knew his stuff, so we were very happy that he had space on his waiting list for us.

We first saw him when I was five months pregnant. I wish I could have seen him a bit earlier as I had quite a bit of morning sickness, but my GP said it was OK. But things didn’t go as we expected with our obstetrician. I rocked up to Dr Watts clinic at 11.45am for our 12.00pm appointment. We got there early as we were told to fill in a questionnaire. We did our questionnaire and waited, and waited, and waited. The room was packed with waiting women and men. We eventually were taken in to see him at 1.50pm! He seemed pleasant enough but he hardly looked up from our questionnaire the whole time, as he questioned us on our answers. He then asked me to get up on the bench and he did a quick belly feel and put a cold stethescope on my belly. It was all a bit uncomfortable. “Are you feeling quite OK?” he asked.

“Yes, but will my morning sickness pass?” I asked.

“Oh yes, shortly. Don’t worry about it. I’ve calculated your due date as 16 October. I’ll see you again in a month. You’re doing fine.”

I quickly hid my A4 page of questions in my handbag as he ushered us out of his room. I don’t know why I didn’t assert myself and say that I had been waiting nearly two hours to have less than thirteen minutes with him, and that I thought I deserved a bit more for my money. But I didn’t say anything. I think Doctors do that to me. I felt disempowered. I also felt quite annoyed but not annoyed enough to do anything. Tom was just stunned. As we passed from Dr Watt’s waiting room (which was still packed with waiting people) he muttered very loudly about how crappy it was having had to wait for two hours. One of the waiting women looked up, smiled and said “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. He’s usually running late. Bring a good book.”

The next month passed happily enough. My morning sickness waned and second trimester hormones kicked in and I was feeling great. I started to read lots of books about pregnancy and birth and I felt I started to become quite an expert. I think it was about two weeks after my first meeting with Dr Watts that I met Aileen. She had joined my pregnancy yoga class and we hit it off immediately. After most lessons we would drop into the local café and have a juice (only the best for us pregnant women!) and a chat. Aileen was pregnant with her second baby and therefore was a bit of an inspiration to me. She listened to me complain about the short shrift I had got from Dr Watts and at the end of my tirade she said that she was going to the local midwifery clinic and didn’t have a private obstetrician at all!

I was shocked. I knew that Aileen had private health insurance and therefore could afford an obstetrician. I couldn’t understand why she was putting up with second best for herself and her baby.   She reminded me of my first meeting with Dr Watts and asked me how well I thought I knew him and how well did he know her? Well of course, I didn’t know him at all and the only thing he knew about me was written on the questionnaire.

“So how can he know what you need and feel in labour?” she asked me.

“Because he’s an expert in delivering babies,” was my reply.

“And how long will he be with you while you are in labour?”

“From when I arrive at hospital.”

Aileen arched her eyebrows. “He’ll be there for ten minutes if you are very lucky. That’s if he turns up at all. Think. How many women were there in his waiting room?”

I saw what she was getting at. If Dr Watts was seeing at least twenty women each day, for say three days a week, then that was sixty women a week or two hundred and forty a month! “How many women does your midwife see each month?” I asked.

“Four.”

“Four!” I was incredulous.

“And even sometimes she complains that that is quite a big workload at times. But a prenatal visit with her may take anywhere up to ninety minutes. Then she’s there for the entire active labour which may be quite a few hours and then of course she does all the antenatal visits for a few weeks after the birth.”

“But what about safety?”

“There’s no concern there. The midwives are experts in birth and if anything goes wrong, they can call on an obstetrician or paediatrician, or whoever is needed. They are always on call.”

I left that café meeting with Aileen with many thoughts going around my head.

Our next meeting with Dr Watts was better. We only waited a little over an hour and this time he apologised for running late. “I had to pop over to the hospital this morning and do a caesarean and that took a bit longer than planned.” But still we only had about twelve minutes with him. I did ask if he would be there for the birth, and he replied “Yes, I should be but I have a conference to go to later in the month and if you go overdue, you’ll have to have my back up, if he’s really needed.”

On returning home, I rang the midwifery clinic. They were full and I had to be put on a waiting list.

Three days before my third appointment with Dr Watts, I got a phone call from the clinic saying that they had a space if I wanted to come and meet with a midwife. Tom and I jumped at the chance, but we didn’t cancel Dr Watts yet as we were still to be convinced.

We arrived at 10.25am for our 10.30am appointment. The receptionist smiled at us and apologised that Jenny (our allocated midwife) was running late. I glanced at Tom, but he was staring steadily over the receptionist’s shoulder. I just laughed and said “Déjà vu.”

At 10.35am, a tall dark haired woman, about forty-five, I guess, came over an introduced herself as Jenny and invited us into a room off the reception area. We sat in couches with a coffee table between us. “I’m dying for a cuppa, would you like one?” was the first thing she asked us after our introductions.   Shortly after, we were all sitting comfortably in the couches, laughing and chatting and getting to know each other. Jenny had an infectious laugh and soon we felt quite relaxed. Jenny did have a questionnaire but we hardly noticed the questions as she filled out the answers and we talked. After an hour, or perhaps longer, she asked whether she could take my blood pressure and whether it was OK if she felt my belly. She asked me my permission! A clean white towel seemed to come out of nowhere and I lay on the couch as the midwife gently placed her wooden cone on my belly and listened for my baby’s heartbeat. She helped Tom hear as well. I felt special.

It was shortly before noon that we left the clinic. Tom and I knew exactly what I would do when we got home. I rang Dr Watts and cancelled my next appointment with him.

My pregnancy continued smoothly. And in all honesty I have to say that I really looked forward to our appointment with Jenny. She was rarely late (you can tell this is a bugbear with me can’t you) and our appointments seemed so leisurely. I was able to pull out my battered A4 sheet of questions and ask them all and more. And more. And more. I had been going to prenatal classes at the hospital but they weren’t particularly individual and Tom and I got so much more out of our hour appointments with Jenny.

As we got closer to my due date, our appointments became weekly and I was able to call Jenny at anytime if I had any questions. This felt very reassuring.

My due date came and went. My belly was huge and I was starting to feel very uncomfortable. I started to worry. How long could I go before I would have to be induced? I had been in regular (practically constant) contact with Jenny, both on the ‘phone and in person and she seemed quite unflappable. “The baby will come when its ready,” was her stock answer. Tom too was getting anxious, and a bit frustrated with Jenny’s apparently unconcerned attitude. At one time, in an exasperated way, he said “But when’s the drop dead date?” He looked terribly embarrassed when he realized what he had said. Jenny just laughed and explained to us how inexact ‘due dates’ were. She said less than ten percent of babies are born on their due date, and therefore ninety percent of them were born before or after the due date, and so if the calculation of the due date is incorrect, then the ‘due date’ can be practically anytime.

Tom then said, in a sort of accusing tone to me that “You should have had the ultrasound and that would have given a proper due date.” We had earlier decided not to have an ultrasound, even with Dr Watts as we had not been convinced that in a young, healthy pregnant woman, it would tell us much, and nobody was able to tell us that it had been proven completely safe. Jenny explained that ultrasound dating is also inexact, and would have given us very little additional information to go on. I left feeling reassured, and Tom seemed a little less anxious.

Jenny had given me a whole lot of suggestions to help bring on labour, including sex. I just couldn’t fathom it as I was feeling so large, so Tom and I settled for long walks in the morning and the evening, before and after he came home from work.   While Tom and I had been reassured by Jenny’s lack of concern over our due date, we had made the mistake of telling our friends and family when our baby was due. This was a very big error. I know they meant well, but having constant phone calls saying “Just checking that you haven’t popped yet” got really annoying. It verged on harassment. And my Mum started making indirect comments that perhaps I should have stayed with Dr Watts as he would have induced the baby by now. I couldn’t bear it. By day twelve past my due date, I was talking with Jenny every day and getting my calls all screened by the answering machine, so I didn’t have to put up with the anxiety that everyone else seemed to be feeling.

On day fourteen, Jenny said that “Soon we might need to start talking about some options.” This rattled me a little, but Jenny’s smile was so reassuring and I knew her so well by now that I knew that whatever came, I would manage. If I did have to be induced and if I had to have my membranes ruptured and if I did have to have a caesarean, Jenny would be with me and Tom the whole time. It was as though I had my own personal lifeline.

[To read the rest of this story and nineteen other inspiring birth stories, order Having a Great Birth in Australia]

[HOME]