Seeds
It’s Complete Surrender
Saturday, February 14, 2009
I can't sleep tonight.
I feel a tugging in my spirit and it is one that is causing great distress in me. When I started this year, I recall my prayer to Him. to use me effectively. I was willing, and He gave me a word that amazed me... "Do what you do best"... Running!
Tonight I sit here writing a clearer understanding of what it means to "do what I do best"..
It means doing just one thing at a time and to do it with great excellence. It also means giving up whatever that I have not been called to.
I am just two weeks away from Langkawi Ironman. I am ready! I have been training for the past year and am prepared for what will be a race of great physical, mental and emotional strength. But a sacrifice must be made. A surrender must be made, and it is one that will cost me dearly. I feel that I am to forsake my pursue of being an Ironman.
God has, in the past two weeks, spoken to me through the life of Eric Liddell. He honored God by choosing not to run on the Sabbath, during the
Storms
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Funny how God speaks to me sometimes.
I took a long bike ride the 2nd day of Chinese New Year which began at 8am and ended at around 6pm. It was a really hot day! But triathletes like myself welcome the heat and literally enjoy training in the sun as we prepare for our Ironman at the end of February.
The bike ride was amazing. There were lots of hills. There were headwinds and crosswinds. There were endless grueling flat roads that never seem to end. As I was biking, I asked God to speak to me and give me a word in season. I told God – “You always seem to give me a word when I am running. But I've never heard you speak to me when I was biking”.
And so I challenged God that afternoon.
Sure enough, that word came. And it came through a most surprising way. A thunderstorm!
Me and Isaiah were heading back to Subang when a storm came. From the distant clouds, we were bracing ourselves for the rain, but we never knew that though time were ahead. It poured heavily. There was thunder
What Makes Me A Designer?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Just recently, the Integricity creative team was given an assignment that really helped defining the “creative” aspect of my life. We were called to share about our journey as designers and what made us what we are today.
I am an Art Director.
More specifically, my role involves the creative process that starts from a concept or idea. It is then translated into art by strategically using design elements to inform, inspire and at times provoke the viewer. Essentially, I am a problem solver. And I use creativity to answer these problems.
Quite frankly, I think it was in me ever since I was young. Let me illustrate with some defining moment in my life that makes me what I am today – a designer!
Encouragement Cards
I grew up in church and we had this ministry called “the encouragement team” I was part of it and the requirement to be part of this team was to be able to use words, cards and surprise lunches for my peers in church. I did not have the money to bring them out to lunches
Legacy
Monday, December 29, 2008
I remember very vividly the time Elder Daniel and Pr. Andy sat me down to talk. In about 30 minutes they told me all ( and probably more) of what I needed to know about our teens ministry and its requirements and commitments should I choose to one day be an adult teen leader.
I was very honest with them and I told them I have never considered teen ministry simply because I don’t think I had “it” in me. I’ve never felt a calling to this age group. Err.. I only knew a handful of teens in church. Teens are a scary bunch cause you don’t know what’s on their head! It’s like treading into unfamiliar ground! Yikes!
But I told them that if they had me in mind to help out, I would be obedient and serve in my capacity. I just I wanted to be obedient to this request. So for the next 3 months, I started helping out as a volunteer. I went for Homes Parties and made Saturday Evening Service part of my schedule and I got to spend more time with teens. Got to know some of them. And guess what, i
No More Pain
Monday, December 8, 2008
Am hurting quite bad after the Singapore Marathon.
Physically I’ve gotten used to the pain that comes with a 42KM run. You know it’s gonna hurt somewhere along the way and you pray that it will be much later than sooner. This time, it came all too soon. By the 13KM mark, I was having a tough time holding to my usual pace. Something was a miss. I tried to push but somehow there was no strength, no Ummph! Everything just felt flat and all I could do was hang in there for the next 29KM and pray!
It was painful. I had to stop many times along the way and catch my breathe and stretch. Yea, I wanted to stop and throw in the towel and call it a day a couple times. But if there is one thing I have learnt when hard time hit , it is to claim God’s scripture upon my life and so I kept repeating Isaiah 40:31 over and over again and drew strength from it!
What happened to Powered By Jesus, mannnnnnn?!!!!!
On a painful Sunday morning, I understood once again its significance in my life. It
The Most Amazing Four Months Of My Life...
Monday, December 1, 2008
Something happened in the past 7 months since June. It’s one of those unforgettable journeys in my Christian faith that I never want to forget!
A milestone in my christian faith!
It all started when I decided to pray and fast about my life partner!
So for four months, I decided to fast a meal a day and during lunch time, set aside that time to read His word and to purposefully pray for someone I was interested in. I journaled about it too. Am glad I did because during those times of waiting and praying I saw how God began to work in my life and change my mindset.
The first two weeks
Oh! I really prayed! I prayed for her. I prayed for myself. I earnestly seek for God to reveal if she was the one. On top of that, I had purposed in my heart to not initiate but to rely on God to open the doors and allow things to happen without me forceful doing anything. This time, I decided I couldn’t do it the same way I had done so many times before... always pursuing and never letting God have
Worship
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
It's not my voice, but what I do with it.
It's not my money, but what I buy with it.
It's not my run, but where I am led by it.
It's not my talent, but who is blessed by it.
-
More than a feeling,
More than a song,
It's all my dealings,
That come all day long.
I may be eating or just out there driving,
Making it large, or barely just surviving,
Yet to Him, I am worshiping,
Because it's me, who I am, be-ing.
It's everything that He is,
And none that is mine,
It's all glory due His,
Every gift so divine,
From the moment I awake,
Till the time I'm in bed,
He blesses me, all for His sake,
To be a living sacrifice, Not dead!
So I come everyday,
With new breath, just to say,
Take my life, this I pray,
Give you praise, one more day!
Church. Not For Everyone.
Friday, September 5, 2008
The murderer, the drug addict, the prostitute, the sex maniac, the HIV carrier, the rapist, the pedophile, the thief. They should not be in church.
The pornographer, the cutter, the homosexual. The slut. The misfit.
We’ll accept them, only after they have gotten their shit together.
The garbage collector, the taxi driver, the hawker, the minimum wage laborer, the widow and the beggar who sleeps by the roadside. Unfortunate ones.
Surely church is not for the lowly, the filthy and the uneducated.
Church. It’s not for everyone.
Of course!
Who are we kidding! Church is for the middle class and the successful! It is for the prim and proper. Those with matching socks. Those who talk the right talk and say “Amen!” on cue. If you are not one of us, then you don’t belong in church.
Get your act together before you come into the house of God! If you come in messy, we’re gonna have to clean you up real good and it ain’t gonna be pretty.
Who wants to clean up your mess anyway?
The Minister’s Tool
Friday, August 15, 2008
One of my most recent journal entries:
"A sharpened tool made for His use. That's something I feel that God is addressing in my life. Am I serving in the right ministries? Am I effective in what I have been doing week in and week out or are they just ministries without the breath of God in my life?
Why do I do what I do? Is t really a calling or am doing it out of obligation and duty? Acstream, Actspresso, LIFEBlog, Team Powered By Jesus, Acts Transport. Why do I do these ministries and serve Him in this manner?
Am I effective right where I am, or am I still "trying" to find my way around and fit in? Lord, I need you to help reveal it to me. Would you open my eyes and my heart to see what you see. To have my heart beat your very heartbeat."
In the past 2 weeks, I have been considering what service I have been involved in:
Actstream - as a choir member in the worship team,
Acts Transport - picking up teens and send them home after Teenacity service,
LIFE Blog - contributer and
Well with my Soul
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
The plight that we read in Job can happen to us at different seasons in our life.
An unresolved sickness. A dashed dream. A broken heart. A loss too great to bear.
Job, a righteous man is tested. He loses his children, possessions and his health. Three friends give counsel, but add more misery to his brokenness. Even his wife asks him to curse God and die.
Amidst all the anger, strife and disappointment, the book of Job express the suffering all believers need to understand and endure. It is not the suffering but rather what is revealed through suffering.
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For 37 chapters, God says nothing to Job.
You wake up one morning and all your spiritual feelings are gone. You pray, but nothing happens. You rebuke the devil, still nothing changes. You confess every sin you can imagine, then go around asking forgiveness from everyone you know. You fast and still… nothing. You begin
Beauty
Friday, July 11, 2008
The story began when King Xerxes decided to replace Queen Vashti. And so the first Miss Universe was held and fair ladies were chosen to be a part of this. After a year of preparation, these ladies were to be presented to the King and the fairest would be chosen to be Queen.
Esther was among them. She was a slave girl, exiled from her land. An orphan, she was brought up by Mordecai, her nephew. The Persians gave her the name Esther which meant stara (star) or Ishtar (Babylonian goddess of love and fertility).
Esther was the most beautiful woman in the world. In the courts, the officers favored her and gave her special attention. The King chose her above the other women and made her Queen. As queen, she saved her husband from assassination and gave all credit to Mordecai.
Later, Haman, an official of the king planned to kill Mordecai and gave an order for all Jews to be killed. Esther entered the Kings courts without being summoned which would normally result in death. She
Efficient or Empty?
Friday, June 6, 2008
I was looking at the cars queuing up the other day at every petrol kiosk and I thought to myself - there are a lot of very anxious people out there! The world is not out of petrol yet but I got a glimpse of how it will be one day when that time comes. I’m sure those who were in line wanted to save some money this time and pump in their last RM1.92 per litre. The prices will go up again. And we will get used to it in due time...
And there I was driving around with the needle of my fuel gauge touching "E". Hahaha...
I was fine pumping full tank the next day, pay more and not be worried bout the prices. After all, God is good and hasn’t forgotten His children. Surely goodness and kindness will follow me all the days of my life (even when I have to set aside more for petrol!)
What’s interesting was the past months I have been researching on some cars. I suppose it's wishful thinking. I was allowing myself to dream of the possible of one day owning a new set of wheels. My wish list
The year that was...
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Looking back at 2007, I have so many things to be thankful for. So I decide to list them down here today and acknowledge what a loving and faithful God I serve. He loves me with an everlasting love and never fails to surprise me with His grace and goodness.
Here’s to small and big things that made 2007 special and significant...
My Family
My mum and dad, I love you very much! They are my best friend and my life advisors who are both wise, loving and understanding. No one supports me like they do! When I was going through a tough patch season in 2007, they were the first people I ran to. I learnt to put aside my pride, my own dreams and hear their heart as they shared. I don’t always like to listen to what they tell me but I followed them anyway, sometimes unwillingly and now, as I look back I have seen how their words ring true. My life has been immensely blessed by their counsel and their love for me. I am fortunate to have parents who I can share my life with and they really do
Overcome
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
It’s been months, even weeks since I have shared about what God has been doing in my life. In the past 6 months, there were many struggles that came my way and brought me to a place of surrender and humility. They were the most painful times and yet the most fruitful and life changing ones.
A season of poverty to a new season of abundance.
My season of freelancing came to a screeching halt in July. All the jobs I had been working on or hoped to come through, ended up in dead ends. I was stuck. I was devastated. My savings had run out and with bills to pay and debts I could not repay, the only logical choice was to find a job and be fully employed. It was one of the most painful decisions to make as I had to struggle with the notion that God had earlier on called me to leave my agency job to freelance. Had I heard wrong? What happened? He was gracious and blessed me with 2 years of fruitfulness. But how could He “pull the plug“ and let this happen to me now?
I learnt that He can.
The Tailor Made Man
Monday, December 24, 2007
A friend of mine gave his life to God on a Sunday during the alter call!
I nearly cried on stage cause I was so happy at his response. I’ve been talking to my friend and just sowing and believing that God would do something. Sri has been my faithful taxi driver for the past 3 months now. Always picking me up at prompt 8:30am to send me to work. It was through this way that i was able to share with him and at many occasions invite him to church. When I saw Sri's hand up that day, it was a reminder that those who were involved in the production labored not in vain. God's timing for salvation is never too late, it is always on time. It was Sri's time to be saved! :)
A personal testimony.
Jason Ding wrote a great play! I may have been casted for a small role, but this play became very relevant to me. I went through seasons in my life this year and could identify with the life of Joseph. His big dreams, his betrayal, his struggles and his honesty, I could understand. I remember the
I Know Who Holds Tomorrow
Friday, July 27, 2007
Chorus:
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand
I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from it's sunshine
For it's skies may turn to gray
I don't worry o're the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I'll walk beside Him
For He knows what is ahead
Every step is getting brighter as the golden stairs I climb
Every burden's getting lighter
Every cloud is silver lined
There the sun is always shining
There no tear will dim the eye
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky
I don't know about tomorrow
It may bring me poverty
But the one who feeds the sparrow
Is the one who stands by me
And the path that be my portion
May be through the flame or flood
But His presence goes before me
Faith-less?
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
This morning, I struggled badly to do my quiet time. I’ve never felt so weak, so depressed and so in lack. I just want to give up right now. My faith has been worn thin and I am not sure how long I can take this.
Life isn’t fail! I don’t deserve this!
How can the God who I constantly sing of His faithfulness, look down on me and not do anything. Is He deaf? Does He not see my tears? Does He not know that I have held on to Him so tightly all these years.
I am slipping. I don’t feel like holding on anymore.
I had a hard time stomaching Ps. Kenneth’s message on a Sunday. He talked about our calling and how there are specific and a general callings for our lives. It’s all wonderful news if everything is in place for you, but for me, the past 2 months has been nothing but false hopes and faithlessness. Have I been called to poverty, God? Are you making a fool out of me?
I feel like I am being engulfed by the storm. I feel so crippled. Am calling out for help. I am not some proud
Cross Trainer
Saturday, January 27, 2007
The length of our days is seventy years or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalms 90:10,12
Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the numbers of my days;
Let me know how fleeting is my life.
You have made my days a mere handbreath;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man’s life is but a breath.
Psalms 39:4-5
Written Dec 2004.
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I have these passage of scripture written on paper and neatly folded in my wallet. I found it right to revisit what I wrote as I celebrated my birthday today. Its’ a wonderful feeling turning 29! And even more amazing to reflect on my life and to see how I have grown in faith. Oh, what an experience! What a life!
I always had this fear that God would take me home at the age of 30.
For These Reasons
Monday, November 6, 2006
For Your endless love
For the life You gave
For the second chance
For Your priceless grace
For Your healing hands
For the gift of peace
For the blessed hope
For the faith to believe
Chorus:
For these reasons I praise You
For these reasons I worship You
For these reasons I live to tell
of Your love to all the world
(Lincoln Brewster - Live: All To You)
Sometimes it's very easy to get into the whole attitude of trying to give back to God our lives by doing "good" so we can be justified in Him. Why not? When we receive His love, we express our love back to Him. When someone is gracious to us, we respond back in grace. A kind act deserves a kind response.
We do that too, sometimes in our christian walk by making our faith “work” so that God will be happy with us. The mistake is made when we try to make an idol of doing the right things and try to get our “act" together and soon it takes away the whole wonder and grace which God intended us to experience. My pastor calls it cheap
The years the locust has eaten...
Monday, August 14, 2006
When God blesses you, He doesn’t withhold anything.
In fact, He blesses us double, triple even hundredfold! He’s so amazing!
As I reflected on what God has done in my life in the past 4 years, I know I am blessed!
I can’t help but praise Him for He has restored my life. He’s given me a hope and future.
I have a brand new life and a personal story that I need to be share.
If you read the book Joel, you will find this few verses.
I will repay you for the years the locust have eaten.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
And you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
Who has worked wonders for you;
Never again will my people be shamed.
Then you will know that I am in Israel,
That I am the Lord your God
And that there is no other,
Never again will my people be shamed
In many ways I had locust devoured my life and left it barren.
Yet God restored it and gave me plentiful and worked wonders in my life.
Before you read on, I have to caution you that some of what
Grow!
Monday, July 3, 2006
Read your Bible and pray every day you will grow, grow, grow...
Don’t read your Bible, pray everyday and you will shrink, shrink, shrink...
Those of you who grew up in Sunday school will remember this song. You start the song in a scrunched position and as you sing "grow, grow, grow", you grow taller and when you sing "shrink, shrink, shrink", you shrink back down. Repeat each line several times to show growth or shrinking.
This song reminds us that if we want to grow in Christ, we must pray and read our bibles! If we stop reading it, we will stop growing, shrink and wither away. A simple song with a simple truth!
Growth starts with the planting of a seed.
Say, I plant a seed in a small pot. As I water it and expose it to sunlight, the seed will begin to grow and germinate. A good environment helps growth and encourages the plant to flourish. Growing up in church, I was exposed to many bible stories. Joshua, David, Daniel, Moses and Samson became my heroes. Picture books
Punch Through: 21km/2 hours
Sunday, 21 March, 2006
A few months ago I took part in the AMBank KL International Marathon. My goal was to complete the half marathon which would be a 21km run around town.
For weeks, I prepared myself for this run. I would go to the gym to strengthen my legs. Hamstring squats, quad lunges, calve raises and leg exercises to push the limits of my legs. I even changed my running routine. Instead of measuring my runs based on time, I decided to measure my performance in distance. 4.75km runs slowly became 9km... 13km... 15km... Soon, I was running for approximately 1 hour 35 mins, non stop and with a constant speed of 9.5kmph for 45 months.
I was determined to finish this race! Even my iPod shuffle stopped working during the process of my training!
By God's grace, I did finish the race. I finished in 302nd place (against 1137 other runners) with a time of 2:00:21. Twenty one seconds shy of 2 hours!! I FINISHED THE RACE!!
As I sat down to think about what I achieved, I realize that there was something
Working Out My Salvation
Sunday, February 13, 2005
I started work with Ogilvy & Mather last week.
I still cannot believe I got the job!
Firstly, because I felt that I was not experienced enough for the job of an Art Director. Secondly, there were many out there desiring this position. I found out that there were 13 other candidates which my Executive Creative Director interviewed. Chances were slim for me. I'm a rookie. A nobody. No permanent agency experience. O&M hires only pros and I don't feel like one! Let's be honest here. I design because I love it. Because God has given me the gift of creativity. And because we all need money to survive. Haha...
I did have faith that God would open doors. But to be able to work for an international advertising agency was beyond what I had hoped or dream of. Its a scary feeling! I remember praying in the solitude of my room. I stood up for prayer in church, requested it during wednesday prayer meets and had close friends cover me with their prayers. Not many knew this but I had very
The Measure of A Man
Monday, January 31, 2005
Brother Yun came to speak in our church 2 weeks back. He is known by many as the Heavenly Man. Beaten, striped, crippled and thrown in jail, he kept His faith in the Lord.
He is an inspiration to me. I aspire to be like him. To be a man completely surrendered to the will of God. To be used by God for a greater measure.
When I went back home after the service, I began to study the book of Job to see what God had to say about pain and suffering. After all, we will face it in this lifetime. Not once but many, many times over.
The bible records Job to be a man blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. He maintains integrity despite losing everything He has. His health is taken away. He loses his children. He is plagued by diseases. His wife mocks Him. And his three good friends only bring him grief.
Yet Job's word in chapter 9 pierce my heart and humbles me.
It records of Job's intense cry to God.
Romans 12
Saturday, January 15, 2005
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2
For awhile now, God has been challenging me with Romans 12.
Last year, as I began working with advertising agencies, I kept Romans 12 very close to my heart. I memorized it. Prayed it and lived it the best I could. When I went to Miri for a mission trip, Romans 12 was a reminder of my service to Him. Its interesting that last Saturday my CG leader ended our meeting with the reading of this passage. On both Sunday services, the pastors quoted these verses and last night as I spent time with God, I was led to the very same chapter.
Was there something I needed to relearn? Rethink? Renew my mind?
Why do
Passion
Sunday, January 9, 2005
What is the one thing in your life that consumes you?
Is it wealth? Is it recognition? Your work? Is it your family? Your life partner?
My life is consumed by the reality that I serve a God who loves me, who walks with me and who talks with me. Last year was an amazing year that shouted "PASSION" in all that i did. From my work in advertising agencies to ministry work in church, everything was driven by a passion of excellence for my Saviour. I do not think it was a coincidence when a close friends of mine, on the first day of the year gave me a poster with this quote:
" Nothing in the world has ever been accomplised without passion "
2005 continues to be a year to passionately serve Him. I sense a deeper need to surrender more of myself to Him. Yes, surrender! To release and let go of every aspect of my life to Him. Its not about trying hard in life, its not about my talents and abilities anymore. It is about God. It is about what God can do with my life when I surrender it to
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
