“Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.”

— Dalai Lama.

I found the above quote on Twitter. I cannot verify it. But, valid or not, it accurately states the attitude Christians must learn to take on the divisive and bitter issues of homosexuality and the Church.

I do not come at this concept of “Bridging the Gap” as one who has the answers. I am all too well aware that I do not. The Gap is very real for me. It is a dilemma. All I can say, really, is that exploring this Gap led me to people I value, questions I would not have thought of otherwise asking, and insights I would not have otherwise found. I began talking to people on the other side of the Side A/ Side B Divide — and my life has been enriched by the conversation and the friends that I have gained in the process.

I came to this issue as a Christian with conservative and evangelical instincts. If I belong any longer in that camp is for someone else to judge — I know that my Christian faith owes everything to the patient, loving and outspoken Holiness & Pentecostal Christians that introduced me to the life faith in Christ, and supported me in the early stages of my journey. I know I owe nothing to the so-called liberal Christians who never even let me know what the Gospel was or what it meant.

So, I came into the argument knowing I was right. But, for me it was a theoretical issue. It was a personal-morality issue. It became for me a boundary issue — people who did not feel same-gender sex was a sin (or, worse yet, said the Bible did not condemn it — an obvious and demonstrable fallacy) were simply not worth talking to. People (like Walter Wink) who said (essentially) ‘Yes, the Bible condemns it, but I don’t care’ were at least worth talking to.

So, why did I keep talking about it? Why did I keep defending my position? I’m not quite sure. Some gay Christians on the Internet engaged me in conversation and I found the conversation enriching. I heard a whole other side of the issue that I had not imagined. I found that I was quite wrong about who is worth talking to! In July of 2003 I joined the conversation at Bridges Across the Divide. The bridging conversation that was going on there seemed amazing to me — such respectful conversations in the midst of such sharp disagreements!

For me the issue was originally theoretical. It was: What the Bible says. I encountered very little in these conversations that caused me to change my mind about that. What I encountered was the personal dimensions of the issue. I was not sexually attracted to people of my own sex. I didn’t know what that was like. I hadn’t gone through the deep inner conflict these people spoke about — the conflict between a drive they did not chose and could not change and their position as persons of worth in the Body of Christ. In some cases, they were very angry. And, it began to impress me that these people — in spite of their anger — were willing to speak to me. We became friends.

So, the conversation changed me. It created conflict within me. It helped me to see some of the deficiencies of my position. It helped me see how little I really know.

And, I don’t know how you “Open your arms to change, without letting go of your values.” But, I’m trying to learn. I’m trying to let love stretch me. I’m not sure the Divide is ultimately bridge-able. Maybe not. But, I’m willing to try being stretched in the hopes of at least meeting at some halfway point.

There are wonderful people on the other side of the divide.

And, they are not who our culture warriors would have us believe they are. See Warren Throckmorton’s summary of George Barna’s recent study, for example. George Barna says: “People who portray gay adults as godless, hedonistic, Christian bashers are not working with the facts. A substantial majority of gays cite their faith as a central facet of their life, consider themselves to be Christian, and claim to have some type of meaningful personal commitment to Jesus Christ active in their life today.”

They are people. That’s all. They are people whose experiences and perspectives should be given a hearing, and whose rights should be defended.

So, stretch yourself. It’s called tolerance.

Dallas Willard writes this in his recent book, Knowing Christ Today: Why We Can Trust Spiritual Knowledge:

Let the love of Christ stretch you: even if it means being stretched across (what appears to be) an unbridgeable gap.

(This is my humble contribution to the Bridging the Gap Synchroblog. You can follow developments on this at Twitter by searching for the following hashtag: #btgblog .)