Obituary
Traditional Concrete
27 BC to 2004 AD
Concrete, as it has been known for more than 2000 years, died in early 2004. Born during the Roman Empire, Traditional Concrete thrived as aqueducts, sidewalks and lawn gnomes.
Traditional Concrete, however, met its death at the hands of an unknown assailant sometime during the night in early 2004. Multiple bullet casings were found at the scene, and based on the small amount of residual evidence, forensic experts believe this could have been the work of a professional.
Police are currently interviewing witnesses, but due to the ongoing investigation, cannot comment on specifics of the case. A Phoenix detective, speaking on the condition of anonymity, has indicated that Police have a strong suspicion that Gore Design Co. may have played a part in the assassination. A tremendous paradigm shift occurred in their work shortly after Traditional Concrete’s death, raising eyebrows of both investigators and designers.
Traditional Concrete is survived by it’s better-looking stronger son, GFRC (Glass-Fiber Reinforced Concrete), and resides in Gore Design Co.’s Tempe, Arizona studio, furthering suspicions of involvement of the rogue concrete artisan firm. Any information regarding this case should be reported to the authorities immediately.
