Our intrepid TUAtlW investigative reporter (pictured), has uncovered a sinister plot to “thin the ranks” of Atlassian employees by exposing them to deadly chemicals.

 

Offered the tempting lure of a free holiday, targeted employees are sent to stay, often for weeks at a time, in a San Francisco apartment building doused heavily in known carcinogens. Once exposed, it is only a matter of time before the company is rid of them.

 

Rumours of a prospective large investment in Atlassian from unnamed biotech and pharmaceutical companies are, as yet, unconfirmed.