DOSSIER TO CHINA!!!
On the morning of Friday, June 16th the email came.
Our adoption agency, Great Wall, informed us that our load of paperwork that we’ve been working on for six months is on its way to China. What a relief! We really had no major problems throughout the process except for last Wednesday when Jeff was supposed to make sure our dossier was sent overnight to Great Wall and it didn’t get sent out because he just left it at the concierge desk. I was livid until Great Wall said they could still receive our dossier on Thursday morning and send it out to China on Friday. Whew! Otherwise, another week would have gone by before it got sent out by Great Wall and let me tell you-after waiting fifteen years to be a mother, I am tired of waiting.
Yes, I am excited that the biggest hurdle is over, but on the other hand, we still have to wait up to another year before we get her referral (picture/medical info). So now we save up $3,000 for our required orphanage donation and the necessary travel costs, and wait.
In a few weeks hopefully we’ll get word from the CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs)
that our dossier is logged in (LID) and we will be in the waiting line, so to speak.
I have to say, I am proud that we’ve gotten this far. After reading for years about every other family in cyberspace who has adopted from China, I always longed for the day that I was in their shoes. And let me tell you, I can’t even begin to count the hundreds of hours I’ve spent online reading about “Gotcha” Days. On that note, I think that terminology is a bit annoying. It refers to the day that you receive your child in China. You probably won’t catch me calling it that.
And another thing, I swear I will post quality pictures of our daughter from China, not blurry ones where half her face is covered by her stroller or taken from a mile away! When I read adoption stories, I want good pictures of the baby. Is that too much to ask?? Okay yes, being realistic, our girl will probably scream every time I pull out the camera, but dang it, I’ll try!
Sometimes I’ll have a wave of happiness flow into me and an image of our little girl asking Jeff to read her a bedtime story will appear in my mind. I feel moments of euphoria, almost like a “chocolate high” take over as I anticipate the times and seasons to come. Moments like nightly baths and prayers, singing songs (‘Free to be You and Me’) , reading her ‘Goodnight Moon’, seeing her discover beauty in nature; these dreams sustain me while I wait patiently to see her sweet face for the first time.
I feel a sense of silent vindication after all these years of watching and hearing about friend after friend, and family member after family member through their multiple pregnancies. I’ve always known my time would come and it would be unique and amazing. I remember once, several years ago (I wasn’t even 30 yrs. old at the time) -the grandmother of one of my cousins made some kind of comment that it must be so painful for me to not have children. I remember my Aunt piping up to say “Oh, she’s just fine” and basically said “Leave your opinions to yourself!” It was so true! People have such stereotypical old-fashioned opinions of how families should be formed and when they should be started (2 yrs. after the wedding and again, every 2 yrs. until the woman’s body gives out!). Give me some credit. It’s more annoying to hear people’s lame remarks about my childlessness than it is for me to actually BE childless!
The truth is, once I had my plan, I knew that choosing to wait for it would make it that much sweeter and more special than anyone could imagine.
*more on how that “plan” was revealed to me some other day...
PS- And hey, I’m not totally knocking the idea of having kids 2 yrs. apart because believe me-there was a time way back in the early 90’s (when I was a naive newlywed) that I went around telling folks that I wanted to have four or five kids! HA!
Monday, June 19, 2006