As I come to write this newsletter on a beautiful sunny day, I look out of my window and watch the delightful weaver birds with blue heads and yellow bodies building their nests in the palm trees in our garden, the oranges are nearly ripe and our chicken has just hatched 6 chicks – beyond the garden are the beautiful Uluguru mountains and I am so grateful to God for the privilege of living in this place.  We have been here for a little over a year now and I felt that as Bob is so good at keeping up the website and usually writing the prayer letters, that I would like to give you some impressions of what it has been like for me here.

We have been made extremely welcome by our friends in the Bible College and the Diocese and indeed by locals in general.  On many occasions we have had the opportunity of eating in the homes of local people and have made particular friends.  The college staff and students really seem to appreciate us being here and are constantly expressing their gratefulness, which we find quite sobering when so often we forget to be grateful.  We have also been welcomed into the expat community most of whom work for the two large tobacco factories based here and my friend Barbara who lives next door is constantly roping me in to activities (bridge(!) on Wednesdays and aqua aerobics are just a couple of examples).  Ute, my German friend who runs an orphanage under the umbrella of the Anglican diocese comes to stay for a night most weeks and I love visiting her in Berega, a village some one and half hours drive from here.  The other day I braved the drive myself which was quite a feat for me.  I have always thought it would be quite fun to do an off road driving course in the UK and now we get to do it all the time!! And not only is ‘the course’ extremely exciting but we are always being cheered on by smiling, waving children who are delighted to see ‘mzungu’ (white people) or even just the car.  We like to stop to give them sweets which we keep in the car for that purpose and it is so rewarding to see their faces light up.

So you may be thinking how lucky Bob and Jane are living in such a lovely place.  Again I look out of the window and the palms are swaying in the breeze against a blue sky in November and I do thank God for bringing us to such a beautiful place. I thank him for what he has taught us through the example of people who live here for the way they smile through extreme adversity faced and for their trust in His never ending provision even if the harvest has failed or there is no prospect of healing for a sickness or they have lost a child to malaria.  I thank Him for calling us to a place where people are so open to the Gospel and where we have the privilege of joining in the work he is doing here albeit in such a small inadequate way.

However despite this I am conscious of how I have spent the last year living in fear. Fear of lack of financial provision.  Fear for our personal safety which was probably exacerbated by our experience in that restaurant last summer. Fear of failure. And the greatest fear: that He would not protect my children.   And I’d like to say that if there has been sacrifice, then the separation from the children has been by far the greatest: far greater than I ever imagined.  But going back to the fear which at times has been debilitating for me  (it’s amazing isn’t it how so often our reactions to fear are so irrational) – reflecting on why I have allowed this fear to be so overwhelming I am reminded of the verse ‘perfect love casts out all fear’.  So the question is does God really love me?  I think there have been times this year when maybe I haven’t really felt that in my heart.  But of course we are coming towards Christmas when we are reminded of just how much He loves us by sending His Son and I know from how great a sacrifice the separation from my children is for me (and for them) that I could not give up for anyone what He gave up for me – His Son.

So I would value your prayers that I might not live in fear but be constantly reminded of what He has done for me, for us and that His plans for us are good ones, even though sometimes the sacrifices seem unbearable.