I know that slumps happen all the time in baseball.  And I know that there are always some guys who get off to slow starts in April (see the entire Detroit Tigers roster).

But it’s time to face the sad reality that Doug Mirabelli would probably be hitting better than David Ortiz is right now.

As of today, Ortiz has 3 hits in 43 at-bats – putting him in the worst slump of his career.  That gives him a current batting average of .070, which – I’m not joking – is the lowest in baseball.

Ortiz will rightfully be remembered as a hero in Boston for the rest of eternity, but I don’t think that makes him exempt from receiving criticism.  Am I going to try to tell you that Big Papi is a bum and that Theo needs to drop him and sign Barry Bonds immediately?  Of course not.  But every day that this slump goes on, it gets more troubling.

Give the people of Boston credit – they’ve tried to cover up the slump as much as possible.  I find it a little strange that since we are two full weeks into the season, NESN has logically started posting batting stats as averages instead of hits/at-bats, yet for some reason – during their telecasts they still show Ortiz’s numbers as 3/43.  I guess that looks a little prettier than .070 (insert blood-alcohol level joke here).

Perhaps the most frustrating thing about Ortiz’s performance so far is that there really is no clear explanation for his struggles.  However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t excuses out there for people to give.

The one I hate the most is what is commonly referred to as – THE SHIFT.  In case you didn’t know, several teams like to adjust their defense in order to account for the fact that Ortiz is a pull-hitter by nature – meaning he hits the ball to the right half of the field most of the time.  So opposing teams will put three players on the right side of the infield and then if Ortiz happens to make an out in their direction, everyone blames the shift – as though he would have certainly gotten a hit if the defense had been positioned normally.

I’m sure that the shift has stolen a couple of hits away from Ortiz this season, but I think it’s just ridiculous to use it as an excuse for his slump.  His 10 strikeouts in 2008 definitely weren’t caused by the shift, and it’s not as if Ortiz has made a career out of ground-ball hits.  He’s a fly-ball slugger, and he’s not going to break out of this slump with a couple of cheap singles.

So then what is it?  Why has every player in baseball found a rhythm except for David Ortiz?  I’m definitely not qualified to examine his swing and tell you what the problem is – but Jerry Remy has pointed out how Big Papi seems to change his stance at the plate in between every at-bat.

But the longer the slump goes on, the more convinced I am that he’s hurt.  The knee issues are no secret, and that’s the only explanation I can possibly think of.  Either he’s hurt and won’t tell anyone, or he and the team have decided to try to play through it.  Then again, he had both the knee problems and that scary heart condition last year, and he had the best batting average of his career – .332.

Still – I say you need to put Ortiz on the DL.  I don’t care if you have to make up some injury – say he’s out for two weeks because of offensive allergies.  Something’s not right and I don’t think playing every day is going to solve it.  Maybe the disabled list is too drastic, but I think Terry Francona needs to at least give the big guy a day off after this Yankees series is finally over.

Because an extended slump is the worst thing that can happen to a guy like Ortiz.  As a DH exclusively, if he’s not making offensive contributions, then he’s not helping the team at all.  At least if someone like Julio Lugo starts to struggle at the plate, he can partially make up for it with his gold-glove caliber defense . . . okay, bad example.

I guess the one positive coming out of the slump is the fact that it makes J.D. Drew’s start even more amazing.  At least Drew had an excuse for his slow start last year, since he was making that switch from the NL to the AL.  And now he’s ripping the cover off of the ball and keeping the Red Sox in a lot of games, which is why I think that if Boston isn’t going to take Ortiz out of the lineup, they need to seriously consider letting Drew move up to the third slot.

If any other position player on the team was going through a slump as bad as Ortiz’s, then Francona would surely try to move them around in the lineup to take some pressure off of him.  Maybe hitting fifth or sixth could help Big Papi relax a bit – I just think they need to try something heading into the third week of the season.

But of course, the Red Sox are playing a couple hours after I am posting this, and I’m sure Ortiz will have a 4-4 day with 2 homers or something crazy like that.  So maybe all this worry is for nothing.

Just don’t try telling that to those poor fantasy baseball owners who were counting on Ortiz to carry their teams.  Thankfully I have a policy against drafting designated hitters.

So maybe the slump is almost over, or maybe it’s just beginning.  Just remember – Barry Bonds is waiting by the phone.