There are times when man has to stop, take actual pause, and observe the obvious display of grace, elegance, power and overall magnificence on display in the tennis court. There are also times when said prodigy is tied up to actual physical superiority, in the broader sense of the word. Today was one of those times. Serena Williams just went out there and beat the living shit out of Belgian Justine Henin, in a victory that not only netted her bragging rights as reigning champion of the Sony Ericsson Open, but also showed the world she has an ass you can bounce damp sponges on.

 

Henin started up by sweeping Serena 6-0 in the first set, a rare sight that deserves the attention one usually dedicates to the latter’s ripe and meaty posterior. The younger Williams proceeded to turn things around rather quickly, staving off two championship points en route to the 0-6, 7-5, 6-3 victory. In the end, she paraded around the court lifting the cup, and giving the adoring crowd a chance to gaze lovingly at her luscious lady lumps.

 

Williams’ second victory of the year has all the signs of a veritable comeback, after starting the year ranked 81st in the world. Before her triumph in the Australian Open, Serena was showing obvious signs of rustiness developed after months of sporadic activity. Coaches and opponents alike remarked upon the unusual slowness in her first step, a lack of her trademark explosiveness when charging the net and, most surprisingly, traces of jiggling in the gluteal area after vigorous overhead smashes and first serves.

 

In consequence, doubters and playa-haters everywhere considered Williams an underdog coming into the Sony Ericsson. A sore left knee visibly bothered her during the opening rounds, but Serena put on a brave face, a neoprene sleeve over the injured area and an even tighter pair of shorts that proudly brought out her pear-shaped buttocks (her A-game) into prominence when it counted the most.

 

By comparison, Justine Henin looked both undecisive and emaciated on and off the court. Displaying a weak backhand and a boyish, notably androgynous physique only Michael Jackson could love, her dominance of the first set started to fade once her rival began to sway momentum in her favor, matching the sway of a sultry, panther-like gait that brings every perfect ass cheek in graceful motion as an unstoppable force of nature. In fact, many pointed out that the Belgian dropped the “Hardenne” part of her name when she realized that, realistically speaking, the one and only “Hard End” in tennis belongs to Williams.

 

Still, Henin was graceful on defeat, praising Serena’s new attitude towards the game, and punctuating her comments with an earnest “It’s good to see her back”. Yes, indeed. Her back is luscious and juicy as an overripe peach, and you can’t handle it, Justine, not by any chance. That rump will mess with you in ways you never thought possible, just like it messes with earth’s gravitational pull on a daily basis.

 

Serena Williams’ mettle will be tested again en route to the French Open, where the slower clay surface will test the finesse aspects of her game. The finesse of her badonkadunk will also be tested by the discerning French crowd, who are already flooding the WTA offices with ticket requests that will allow them a glimpse of Serena’s exquisite derriere.

 

 

Mr. Bad Example