What is a “Haole Fats”?

Weeeee! We got a Wii!

Sat, 9 Feb 2008 06:44:51 -1000

One bad habit that helped me pack on the pounds over the years was the huge amounts of time I spent playing video games. When I was single with plenty of disposable time and cash I indulged my video addiction to my heart’s content. I was one of the guys that made the Sony Corporation very profitable in the 90’s. I had two television sets and a stereo system dedicated solely to my PlayStation II. Tons of games and plenty of slacker-buddies willing to waste the hours away drinking Shiner Bocks and mashing buttons until our hands cramped into swollen, deformed claws. Sweeeet.

When I moved to Hawaii permanently in 2002 I sold all my gamer gear, in fact I sold everything I owned except my truck, which I had shipped to Hawaii. Can you call yourself a man and leave your truck behind? I had worked a contract of several years at Pearl Harbor. After it came to an end I returned to Texas for about six months but just couldn’t get Hawaii out of my system. One day I went into my boss’s office and told him I needed to resign, sell everything I owned and move back to Hawaii. He thought I was crazy but smiled and wished me well. Bye Bye Austin! Bye Bye PlayStation! Aloha Hawaii!

Within a year of moving back to Hawaii for good I met Lovely Wife Judith. Nine months later we had Jackson Dylan. A husband and Daddy at 43. I love it when a plan comes together!

Of course, Lovely Wife Judith LOATHED video games and forbade me to ever return to the dark side. For my part I agreed with her. I didn’t have time to waste with a new wife, child and job. And I was a little scared that if I brought a console back into my life I might leave Judith a Gamer-Widow and then she might leave me as a Dumbass-Doofus. Not wanting to wreck my marriage over something as stupid as computer games, I resisted the temptation.

Still, Judith knows my heart and isn’t above trying to make me happy. The last couple of years she has even offered to buy me an Xbox as a Christmas gift. I thought about it but wisely said, “MMMM... maybe not such a good idea.”

So we are living happily game free then the Wii comes along. Judy, who has shown absolutely no interest in any gaming systems all the sudden starts talking about getting a Wii. Of course I have no objections. The big selling point for Judy is that it has many games that actually require you to get off your ass and move plus it is very family oriented. This Christmas we got our Wii. Well actually it came in January due to the back order. Nintendo was always a little too “kiddie-cute” for me but I have to say that I am now on the Wii bandwagon. It isn’t the most graphically sophisticated system out there by a long shot but the inter-activeness is revolutionary.

For the first time ever, I actually broke a sweat playing a video game. That’s incredible. Big improvement over drinking and button mashing. Second big plus; I watched my three and a half year old and my 70 plus father-in-law playing on the Wii and having a great time together. That’s pretty cool to create such a truly multi-generational family device. Ok, it’s not the rampant carnage I use to live for, but hey, it’s good enough for a family guy.

BTW: The Wii allows you to make avatar’s of yourself to insert into the games. We have one for each family member. It’s amazing how accurate you can make them. I did the ones at the top of this blog as a demonstration. What do you think? Do they look close enough to recognize?

And yes, I know. Nothing takes the place of real exercise but the Wii does beat staring into a box. As Jackson would say, “You got to move it, move it!”

Aloha,
Anthony

Rust Never Sleeps

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 07:40:45 -1000

Out of the blue and into the black You pay for this, but they give you that And once you're gone, you can't come back When you're out of the blue and into the black

Crazy time lately. This is our busiest time of year and it seems that all I’m doing is working. All of this activity will calm down as soon as the “snowbirds” return home again to the mainland, but right now it’s pretty hectic. On top of that a couple of events have been dominating my thoughts lately. They don’t really have anything to do with each other but they have a certain synergy to me. My beloved grandfather died at the end of last year and I met Neil Young at a dinner party not long after. One of my favorite Neil Young songs is “Hey Hey My My” originally recorded not long after Elvis Presley’s death. I haven’t thought about that song in decades but lately it’s in heavy rotation in my head along with thoughts and remembrances of my kindly grandfather.

The king is gone but he's not forgotten
Is this the story of Johnny Rotten?
It's better to burn out 'cause rust never sleeps
The king is gone but he's not forgotten.

Is it better to burn out than to fade away? Those seem like pretty black & white options to me. My grandfather was told at age 54 that he had a year to live. He was plagued the rest of his life with heart trouble that often took him to death’s door but somehow he managed to live a long, happy and productive life. His bad heart finally caught up with him at age 86. He was making a sandwich at the kitchen sink when a massive stroke left him dead before he hit the floor. I’m thankful that his passing was so quick and painless. I will always remember him as a kind and compassionate man who lived life by accepting the challenges laid before him.

Elvis died a lonely, morbidly obese, millionaire drug addict, deified by millions around the world yet tragically alone and lost in his own dark world. A prisoner of his fame maybe. Definitely a prisoner of his own addictions. I can’t help but wonder why he couldn’t break through all that bullshit - forget about being Elvis – get off the drugs - just live life for the happiness it can bring you. Of course, John Lennon tried to live a normal life after his great fame and a deranged fan emptied a gun into him in front of his wife and outside of their home. The picture of Lennon taking time to sign an autograph for the man who would hours later murder him is burned into my mind forever. Fatalism is a good Irish trait and easily accessed by my psyche. It’s easy for me to find the dark places - it takes concerted effort to drag them back into the light.

There is a long history of depression and addiction in my family. Irish and American Indian – go figure! Not surprisingly the 100 lbs I put on after college came at a time when I was most depressed. I hated my job and had a series of unsatisfying relationships. As I was packing on the pounds my most common frame of mind was boredom and resentment. Of course, I took almost no responsibility for all my woes and found comfort in all the wrong places - that’s the oldest story in the world.

I guess it’s no surprise that I started getting healthier in both mind and body once I started taking the bull by the horns and making my life into what I wanted rather than dealing with whatever came my way. My grandfather would say, “The Lord helps those who help themselves.” I agree with that sentiment on general principal though I would throw in the Beatles, “I get by with a little help from my friends” for good measure.

There was a time when I could easily be distracted and derailed by depression and negative thinking. Now I try to recognize what little value that kind of thinking brings to my life rather than getting drawn into those dark waters. I think most morbidly obese people are depressed or prone to depression. They may often seem “fat and jolly” but a lot of that is just compensation, “Hey look at me! I look like crap but I feel GREAT!” I’m not saying every fat person is like that but I certainly was at times.

Lovely Wife Judith and I are both working way too much right now but in this tourism economy you work when the islands are busy. Our diets have slipped in the last few weeks (not to mention the Holidays where we both put back on a few pounds) but Judy is bringing us back to the induction phase of the diet again. Life is good. It’s not always fair but it is good.

I hope everyone is living the life they want (or building toward it) and filling their world with love and meaning. It’s a good life. Cherish and share it .... rust never sleeps.

Aloha nui loa,
Anthony

2008: Return of the Haole Fats!

Tue, 1 Jan 2008 11:00:33 -1000

Happy New Year to all! May 2008 bring you joy, happiness and good health! It seems like 2007 was a roller coaster of bad news with more and more ominous clouds gathering on the horizon as the year progressed. In these uncertain times its important to reflect on what matters most to us - those we love who share our lives. I have been very blessed since moving to Hawaii over ten years ago. I met my Lovely Wife Judith on the Big Island and gained something I never thought I would have ... my own family. And of course, my wife Judith gave me the greatest gift of all - our son Jackson. That I can praise him even now when he is a bossy, pushy, loud, very-opinionated three-year-old is a testament to just how much he means to us and how much joy he continues to bring into our lives. (Jackson is sitting in the second row on his cousin Emma’s lap - white rash guard shirt with red tropical print sleeves. Lovely Wife Judith is above them to the left in a pink blouse with lei and I am located on the back row with a brown shirt and bad hair. You can always find the troublemakers hanging out in the back of the class!)

New Year’s Resolutions:

MORE BLOGGING! Life is full of distractions. I get busy at work and the first thing to fall away is the blog. This blog has been very helpful in keeping me focused on sticking to a healthy lifestyle. I’ve noticed that when I drift away from it I become less focused on my health and things start to slide. That makes all the sense in the world, so this year I will endeavor to get back to regular posting on this blog. (The geek in me immediately hears the voice of Yoda in my head, “Do or do not. There is no try.” Damn you George Lucas! Get out of my brain!

Weight Loss Year II: The Dreaded EXERCISE! Last year was a great turning point for me. I finally got serious about my health and made very good progress in dropping a lot of bad habits and replacing them with healthy choices. I even learned to like unsweetened GREEN TEA. I’m still amazed at that one! Gone are the sodas and fast foods. I’m so much healthier now than I was a year ago but the mountain I’ve yet to climb is putting exercise into my life on a REGULAR basis. I’ve gone through spurts of riding my exercise bike and weight lifting, but just like the blog, it tapers off when I allow my focus to slip. I’m lucky in that I manage an estate that covers over 300 acres with plenty of private areas to walk and jog. I’m not stuck behind a desk all day, which is a huge improvement over my past life as a technology consultant where all I did was sit at a computer. Not only do I manage this Hawaiian Victorian Estate, but I lock the gates at 5:00 pm everyday and have the whole place to myself! My challenge is to quit going right back to work and start forcing myself to take a little time and get some exercise. There is no better place to do it and work will always be there. I need to practice what I preach and take time to stop and smell the roses, or at least notice them as I go jogging by.

Two resolutions are about as much as I can handle. I hope this day finds you well and looking forward to all the possibilities that 2008 may hold for you.

With Warmest Aloha,
Anthony

Back to the Rack

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 17:40:20 -1000

When I graduated from high school my waist was 36 inches. That was a little thin on a 6’5’’ frame and it made me look like the letter “L”, big feet and lots of height. My freshman year at college I joined a fraternity and successfully proved that you could actually drink more beer than you ever did in High School. Waist size expanded to 38 inches by my sophomore year. I remember this because for four years of high school I was a 36, then all the sudden I was 38. "Laissez les bons temps rouler!"

By the time college wrapped I was up to 40 inches. Whatever. I wasn’t in the least concerned.

My professional life quickly evolved into many hours behind a desk in various information management positions. Lots of travel and long hours with very little exercise. I ate out a lot with little attention paid to what I was eating or what it was doing to me. 40 ... 42 ... 44 .... 46 ... and very briefly I even hit 48, which was shocking as I realized I was on the verge of leaving the 40’s and moving on up to the 50’s. I started thinking about Orson Welles and Marlon Brando, two men I admired who ballooned up to gigantic proportions as they aged. Was this my fate as well? Every now and then I would see a reflection in a shop window and not recognize that it was me, “Who is that large person staring back at me? Am I under all that padding somewhere? Am I there at all anymore?”.

Even when I was a lot thinner, buying pants was tough being 6’5’’ with a 34 inch inseam. Off the rack jeans usually stop at 32 inches long though you do run across 34 from time to time. When you would find a 34 inch inseam it was usually coupled with a 38 or less waist. Strangely you could find 30 inch and below inseams with above 40 waists. I guess you have to be tall and thin or short and fat in America. Tall and Fat takes you straight to the Big and Tall store where you’ll find yesterday's fashions at twice today’s prices. Nobody is having a good time at the fat man’s store. The Big and Tall store is nothing more than a last resort to keep from going around fat and naked.

On our recent mainland trip I got to buy all new jeans as my clothes had gotten too baggy from all the weight loss. One of the great things about working for a cattle ranch is that you get to wear jeans to work every day. I was pleasantly surprised to find that 42x34 Wranglers and Levis fit like a glove. Very comfortable. Roomy even. Imagine that! I now have a stack of 46x34’s that I will either donate to the Salvation Army (though I can’t imagine who could possibly wear them - maybe some Samoan guy) or just spark ‘em up! Burning sounds like the better option to me. More elemental. More symbolic and vengeful and more me. Maybe I’ll even dance an Irish jig in honor of me potato eatin’ ancestors! In six months I hope I can slim down two more sizes and buy another set of new jeans ... and then build another righteous bonfire!

10 Pounds in 10 Days!

Sun, 4 Nov 2007 16:34:30 -1000

Aloha All!

I’ve been away from the fatty blog for a while for a number of reasons mostly to do with work picking up again. In the tourism world you work a lot when the season picks up and less during the off-seasons. We’ve also been struggling with potty training with my three old, which I am delighted to say is actually showing real progress now - no more distraught Daddy in the front lawn with the garden hose in one hand and a fully loaded pair of Spiderman underwear in the other.

On top of all that we just got back from a quickly planned trip to the mainland. We weren’t going to go this year - flights from Hawaii just keep getting more and more expensive to the point where we can’t afford to visit as often as we would like anymore. We got lucky this year as Lovely Wife Judith got a free trip to New Orleans on business which allowed Jackson and I to visit relatives in Texas while she was eating etouffee and jambalaya in the Big Easy.

Still on the diet. Still in the mid 290’s. Just a few more pounds to squeak out until I make it to the 50 pounds lost mark. I’m still setting my goal at 100 pounds so I am about half-way home. It’s a good feeling to be working toward a goal and keeping that goal at the center of your life. I remember how depressed I would get watching my weight escalate over the years and what an easy trap it is to just give in and ignore the problem, which of course is totally irresponsible and only makes you fatter and fatter until one day they have to knock down a wall in your house to bury you in a piano case. We can all be our own victims or our own heroes. Lots of choices in this world when you free your mind enough to see them.

10 pounds in 10 days! That was a choice too just like Darth Vader going over to the Dark Side. (Pardon the Star Wars analogies - Jackson has discovered the Star Wars Universe so we all live in it now.) On my swing through Texas I literally put on 10 pounds in 10 days. It was so fun and so easy! It’s really amazing how quickly you can put on the pounds! I decided before we left Hawaii that the diet was going on vacation too and that I would indulge myself in my favorite down-home cookin’. Bring on the Tex-Mex! I had my fill of Jalepeno sausages, Mole Enchiladas, Chili con Queso , Carne Guisada and mounds of Tortillas chips and lets not forget all the top-shelf Margaritas on the Rocks! And then I met up with my good buddy Bobby D and we just had to knock back a number of excellent, cold German Fransenschaner Hefiweisen’s. Sacrilicioius!

The good news is the weight came off faster than I put it on ... and then some! I’ve been reading Big Daddy D’s blog for quite some time. Big Daddy D talks a lot about his carb-cycling experiments. The theory sounded good to me but I was a little scared of packing the pounds back on, or getting right back into full-on carb addiction. It makes sense that the body strives to maintain a sense of stasis. Once the body gets use to having fewer carbs it starts to adjust and require fewer and fewer and then that wonderful rapid weight loss you first experience on a low-carb lifestyle just grinds to a halt. Perhaps by throwing the carbs back into the mix now and again, the body jumps for the bait and goes back into “happy-happy-carb-fat-building” mode. Once you drop the carbs down, you can lose again. Maybe. It certainly seems to have happened to me on this last trip of Southern Fried Over Indulgence.

Hope all is well with all my friends both here at home in Hawaii and far across the seas.

Aloha nui loa,
Anthony