Matt’s Blog

Naru

Sat, 6 Feb 2010 20:24:18 +0900

I’ve had an easy week. Despite my blogging absence. I’ve been less tired, I’ve done some writing and I finished all of next week’s planning at school before I left on Friday. Admittedly that was part of the new routine where the company sends me the timetable earlier. It felt good. I keep thinking I should spend more time with the kids though. I try to get the boring planning and stuff out of the way so I can go wandering around the school guilt free, but something else always seems to turn up. I’m just going to have to delay it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about next year too. It’s looking likely that I will be moving somewhere else. While that will be good for many reasons, I’ll miss teaching the same people. However, having done a year I know what to expect and I know how to improve, so I can make a better impression at the new schools, and make changes without people wondering what has suddenly got into me. Yeah, I think it’s a good idea to be more forward and ... silly. More silly. Yes. Still, I have this thought that when they know I have been here for a year already they will expect much more of me, particularly in Japanese ability.

Anyway, I got good news in the job department. Firstly, my visa runs out before I finish this year so I will get sponsored again by my current employers. What this means is that I can apply for any job, I don’t have to look for someone willing to sponsor me. Secondly, my company have given me the chance of changing my preferences for next year, so now that I have met my “host” from Nagoya (I must think of a better codename for her, but I have always sucked at names) and I want to be with her, I can put Nagoya at the top of my list. which will increase my chances of staying with this job. That will save a lot of hassle and give me a raise this year!

Now, the writing I was on about. On Wednesday I planned to leave early to go to the post office. So naturally, the teachers decided to have a meeting they didn’t tell me about and I got trapped in it. I thought I would miss the post office, as all essential services here tend to close before most people can leave work, but rushing away as soon as I could, I just made it. I was helped by one of the special needs kids who followed me, wondering why I was going at such as speed and not stopping to talk to him (I did explain but I’m not sure he understood: “Post Office. Close soon. Quickly!” I said in Japanese) but having him to talk to and watch out for at crossings (and the rather icy roads and pavements) took my mind of the blistering cold. When I ran into the post office I didn’t expect to make it at all. I dumped my bike without locking it and huffed and puffed my way in. I regularly send letters and blood samples (yes, that’s correct) so the staff know me. It was nice to explain my rushing to them and not just be another customer who disappears with only business accomplished. There was a guy at the convenience store too, when I was paying my Health insurance, he saw my name on the card and went on about how cool it sounded. I found it amusing he thought so as, like most people, I have always disliked my geeky middle name. Anyway, while I was trapped in this teachers’ meeting, I decided to do some writing and I ended up finishing two whole scripts for my new comic strip series. I’m impressed because I don’t normally write scripts for my comic strips - I only have because someone will be drawing these ones for me, hopefully - and because it was the first solid work I have done on anything new this year.

Today, it is thick with 4 inches of snow. It has been snowing every night this week, but today it decided to snow until dinner time. I’ve only been out for food but I had to wear my boots and walk on the fresh snow because the squeaking of the compacted snow on my newish boots is like fingernails on a blackboard. I helped shovel the steps when I got back, but I left it at that - just so we could open the door - because it just makes it slippy.

Honey

Tue, 2 Feb 2010 21:04:18 +0900

I don’t know if I mentioned it, but about a week ago I was coming home from lunch and I walked through a car park. On the ground, I saw a small dreamcatcher. It was a little dirty, but I picked it up anyway; it seemed a shame to leave it there. I hung it in my window. Ever since then I have been remembering my dreams. I haven’t remembered dreams in a while, and I’m glad because my dreams are so much fun. They are very weird and quite often I craft whole episodes of TV shows, but I also get a lot of story ideas from them.

I’ve also fallen in love with one of my pictures. I was finally getting a print done of one of my sketches as it was a prize for someone on the Guest blog I did. I found a photography store in the main mall and I stuck my USB in their dirty slot. For a pittance (which is about £3 now) I printed out the one picture at A4 size and it looked so cool. I uttered a “sugoi!” that made the cashier laugh when she showed it to me. It got me excited about pictures again. I biked home - in the snow! - thinking about how I wanted to get all my pictures printed. Then I thought that I could put on a photography exhibit. It would be easy, and reasonably priced, to get the photos. I would just need a venue and to advertise a bit. I would even be able to take orders and sell pictures as is. And the language of art is universal, though I might have to translate the titles. It would be really cool, but at the very least I am considering printing some more of my own pictures in light of not being able to decorate my walls with all the art prints I wanted to buy; not having a usable credit card means I can’t buy anything online and it’s an online only store where I want to buy things.

On the writing side, I’m in negotiations to make my comic strips in collaboration with my some times Illustrator, Cathy. She’s looking at a few scripts now and this is part of the reason I haven’t done any more issues of Gaijin Monkey yet. I also resurrected Hyperbunny; the adventures of a magician’s assistant-come-superhero who transforms into a white rabbit at awkward moments. Hilarity ensues. I’ll keep you updated.

Chuu-niform

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 20:42:43 +0900

I’ve been applying for more jobs. A lot of them have been asking for “an interest for working with children” or in once case, “an unexplainable connection with young people”. I went to my semi-regular Elementary school yesterday. There’s a girl in the 2nd grade there who, when she sees me, takes a running jump and latches herself onto me. There’s your unexplainable connection - it’s a good job they aren’t so strict about anti-paedophilia laws here - but how do I put that into a job application form?

Last night, we had an earthquake. It measured about 4.5, I think, and it was felt across the prefecture. I was asleep, but woke up obviously - not enough to do much though. I was overtired from too much playing soccer in high winds and basketball with kids who cry when they lose. So I just remember lying and thinking “Oh, do I have to get up and hide under a doorway? I’m comfy.” So I stayed in bed and felt my flat bend and shake like a box made of cardboard panels sewn together. It was louder though. It lasted about 10 seconds, but it felt a little longer. I still got up early to go into school. My 1st grade English teacher conducts the strings orchestra at Junior High and they had a concert. She invited me so I wanted to go along.

It was nice to go to school as a guest, in a casual capacity. I didn’t feel like I had any responsibility and I could just enjoy it. It wasn’t what I expected. I thought it would be in the main hall with the whole school watching, but it was tucked into a side room, next to the music room. It was nice though. I got a cheery smile and bow as the teacher noticed me in the crowd. They played five songs. One of them sounded like something from the Dave Matthews Band and another was this cute song from a TV ad here. It was funny.

As I was arriving at school, I met three girls, students, outside who said hello to me. After I left school and went to look around some shops I ran into them again. Then after I went to the shops I went to Mister Doughnut for a mid morning “It’s the weekend and I have to stock up on energy” snack, and they were there again! I coincidentally run into people quite a lot. Anyway, I ordered my food, pretending not to hear them talking about me, and then I sat down a couple of tables away, because they don’t want to sit with a teacher. However, I heard my name a few times and later on, two of them came over to see me. I asked them where they were going afterwards to make sure we weren’t going to run into each other again, and then they left. I like that they tried to talk to me and they didn’t seem shy. It’s nice to see students in a casual setting too. I’m so used to seeing them in their uniforms; they look very different in casual clothes and they seem more relaxed. I think they are more shy in school. Still, I live a long way from all of my schools so I don’t run into students often.

Raggedy Andy

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 22:14:19 +0900

I neglected to put my electric blanket on sooner and now I have to stay up later than I wanted while my bed struggles to climb above a freezing temperature. My feet are safely in their socks. My polo-necked t-shirt is on. It’s so nice in Japan in winter. I want it to hurry up and be over with, so we can have warm nights again, but at the same time I want time to go slow as well.

Today, I thought about how I only have two more days (next month) at my favourite and most frequently visited Elementary school, and that is pretty sad. There are so many good kids there; I feel like I am just getting to know some of them; I have finally taught all the classes so ALL the kids say “Hello” to me now instead of hiding away; the teachers are so nice and friendly too. It’s a great place and I fear it won’t be equalled. Still, there are bound to be some cute kids so I will take solace in that. I also hope my new schools will have the policy of having an assistant for me too. She has been great, not just for teaching purposes but to chat with her between lessons has been a lot of fun. I learned that some of the students have been taking English lessons outside of school and they have surprised me with how good their English is. I wish I could talk to them more and exploit the fact. However, thoughts of arranging to contact students is only viewed as bad. At least, that seems to have been beaten into me under the belief that Britain is full of paedophiles and we aren’t allowed to do anything to or with children anymore. It’s very sad, and one of the reasons I dislike Britain right now. But I often say this to my friends here and they reply “Why can’t you hug the child? Why can’t you play this game?”, but I am overly cautious and the first thing I think of when a kid comes running at me to jump on me or ask to be thrown around like a living rag doll (as they often do) is how much trouble I would get in if I’m seen doing this, when it isn’t even anything bad. I want to play more and I love their attention. That’s the younger kids anyway. With the older kids I just want to talk.

Skip and Jump

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 19:12:45 +0900

‘Skipping rope’ or ‘Jump rope’? It’s another silly British vs. American thing , isn’t it? I’m constantly in conflict with the English language. I’m a language teacher and being British, I want to teach English. However, most people here want to learn Yankee so in some instances I change spellings and names to suit them. However, I always try and sneak in English versions where they don’t specify. Not only that but at work and in my daily life it is demanded of me that I speak and use very simple English, while for my writing I want to keep a large vocabulary and use fancy words where it is appropriate; I like them. Still, using basic language, like reading Murakami’s work, has taught me to be more concise in my writing.

I started on track here and then went into a laguage rant. Oh yes, I mentioned skip rope because I went to a kindergarten today and the students there were absolutely obsessed with it. All the time that wasn’t taken up with eating lunch or being taught by me, they were playing with skipping ropes -- all of them. I kid ye not. It was strange, but amusing. I got lots of fast counting practise as kids would run up to me, demand that I watch and then I counted for them to see how many jumps they got. It was fun at first but got tiring. Still, is it a jump rope or a skipping rope? Comments below.

I also found a nice lake area that would be perfect for fishing. It had lots of birds and wildlife too. Quite pretty, but as I was on my way to school, having already turned round to go back home for the indoor shoes I forgot, I didn’t have time to rest long.

Also, check out the previus entry for my full guest blog from Teensreadtoo.com.

Guest Blog

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 10:28:48 +0900

Today is the day of my guest blog over at TeensReadToo.com. With the event now over, I’m free to post the blog in its entirety. Have a read, for some amusement, especially those who were too lazy to click on that link I provided.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 23, 2010
Visit with Matthew Rowe

  www.mattcannotwrite.co.uk  Today we're visiting with Matthew Rowe, author of NOT ALL OF THEM ABOUT ZOMBIES. The book wasn't written for a strict YA audience, but we reviewed it favorably on the TRT site, and you can find it right here. It's an interesting collection of stories:  

  Ever wondered how Little Red Riding Hood would grow up after her traumatic experience with the wolf? Ever wondered how you might react when you wake up in someone else's body? What happens when a man shares a night of passion with a woman from his dreams and a neurotic comes face to face with his fears personified? The tales inside explore these concepts, and more, in the first collection of short works by young British author Matthew Rowe. It is a mix of horror, comedy and traditional fantasy with an imaginative twist or two that includes the short 'Don't Fear The Reaper', winner of Dark Fiction's monthly horror competition. Don't worry though, not all of them are about zombies.  The book is available in paperback format through Amazon.com, or you can download a free eBook version of the book (in PDF format), at Matt's website.  I had the chance to ask Matt a few personal questions about his life, writing, and the new book he's working on, BETTER OFF DEAD.  1) If you could bring any character from one of your books to life, who would it be and why?  That’s a hard one. I feel like going for the cop out and saying I love them all. I could also be really lame and bring alive the one that would be my perfect girlfriend, but where’s the fun in that? Loving someone you had designed would be very hollow. Well, I do have a crazy cast of characters. I think I would bring to life the hero from my first novel BETTER OFF DEAD. His name is Ramses. He’s a slightly deranged teenage vampire, but I love his relaxed, energetic attitude (in Japan, we call this ‘being genki’). I think his spirit would remind me what I could be. He’s not afraid of saying or doing what he wants and he has a lot of fun. Essentially, he’s me with my fear of mortality removed.  2) Your own six-word memoir.  He lived with words and pictures.  3) Twitter your newest or upcoming release in 140 characters or less.  In a world where sorcerers are saucy, vampires are a pain in the neck and every1 is clawing 2 be on top, a hero will rise (from his sofa) 2 save the day (cos his mummy said so). I apologise for the use of txt speak, but this is for Twitter right? So it’s okay. I hate that though.  4) You have the chance to spend the day with any character from one of your favorite books. Who would you choose and why?  So hard! I’ve read a lot of books with great characters. Though I think I would like to spend a day with Ford Prefect. There’s a frood who knows where his towel is. I’d be the new Arthur Dent, only a little more lighthearted. The greatest things happen when Ford’s around. We’d bounce from one adventure to the next and as long as I had a cup of tea and a towel, I’d be fine.  5) What was your favorite book growing up as a teen?  Already got there. THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY most certainly. In my teen years I mostly read that and Terry Pratchett’s DISCWORLD books, but where as the DISCWORLD book was a new adventure every time, I would reread HHG2TG again and again. I always enjoyed it. The very British, matter-of-fact style of comedy, the excellent observations, the lunacy of it all; I can’t really say anything that hasn’t already been said, but Douglas Adams was a genius. His was a book that broke the rules - it has such a meandering plot, and no real structure to speak of - but it’s super successful. It just goes to show that you can publish anything if you have that special secret ingredient, which after years of experimenting, I can safely say, is not oregano.   6) When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?  This sounds contrived but I think I always wanted to write and I really didn’t want to be a teacher. Ironically, now I am both. I remember taking a weird career test on a clunky old BBC computer at Elementary school. ‘Author’ was the number one job suggested and I was really happy. I couldn’t see myself doing anything else. Nothing seemed like fun, but that. I really didn’t want to be a teacher because I had seen enough of school and the students are terrible, but I work abroad so I don’t have to put up with that so much. Japanese kids are so well behaved. The worst they do is pretend to fall asleep in class. In England, your life can be at risk.  7) Your favorite subject in high school – and your least favorite.  My favourite subject in high school was probably Science. I like the material, but it’s really because I had a great teacher who just made it fun. I really hated History for a while, because I had the scariest teacher, but once you got used to his multiple personalities and invisible friend called George, he was okay. So, I hated Math most. Even now, I have nightmares where I have to take a math test and I realise I missed whole semesters of lessons.  8) The one book everyone in the world should read.   The thesaurus, honestly. There are so many words. I love picking out the one that has the perfect implication for what I want and sometimes, no, often, the book throws some surprises my way. In every day conversation we use the same few words over and over again. Writing is where we get to experiment and expand our thoughts. Either the thesaurus or the ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE by Max Brooks. His facts are a little off, but he’s got some good advice. Plus, you never know when IT might happen.  9) The book you wish you had written.  HARRY POTTER; just to have such a large audience and know I’m inspiring so many people. Though my version would see Harry taking action a bit sooner. I’d be annoyed if someone tried to kill me every summer and I’d be ready for them. My version would be more bizarre too and would probably have more monkeys in hats. You can never have enough monkeys in hats.   10) Your five favorite reads from 2009 (books you read during the year; they do not have to have been published during 2009).  I must confess that in 2009 I have been starved of things to read. I moved to Japan in March and English books are hard to come by. When you do find some, they are almost twice the price. But I have read PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES, which was a good laugh. Also, Neil Gaiman's SMOKE AND MIRRORS, FRAGILE THINGS and ANANSI BOYS. I love his writing. He writes the kind of modern fairytales I really hope to make one day. In fact, I recently enjoyed a collection of the Grimm Brother’s fairy tales. They inspire me with their simple style and powerful images. Those stories have survived for so long and I’m determined to find out why and capture it in my work. One of my stories from NOT ALL OF THEM ABOUT ZOMBIES is a continuation of one of their tales. I tried to emulate their style while adding my own spice. I’d be interested to know what people think.  11) The 2010 release you’re most looking forward to reading.  I hear Haruki Murakami has a new (English) book out this year, IQ84. His stories are a nice mixture of surreal and mundane, and a fine example of the culture he comes from. I like his writing style. It’s very concise, but yet he manages to portray so much depth and beauty in the slightest things. Of course, I’m reading a translation, but I feel that in his work. I hope his new one is another one I enjoy. I am still working through his back catalogue though.  I don’t anticipate books as much as I do movies, so it’s a hard question. I just like to walk into a shop, browse the shelves and see what takes my fancy. I’m sure there will be many great books to look forward to.  12) If your mom wrote the author profile for the jacket of your next book, what would she write?  He’s a very nice boy, but I do worry about him. All these graphic images certainly come from too many video games and movies. He’s very good though and I’m very proud of him, so please buy this book.  13) Your family has the chance to describe you for an interview. What ten words would they say describe you best?  That’s really not for me to say, now is it?  14) You have the chance to go back and change a scene from one of your previous releases. What book would you choose, what scene would you change, and how would you alter it?  Well, from my anthology the only one I would consider changing would be HARRY. I don’t think it is a bad story how it is, I’m very proud of it, but I originally intended it to be a screenplay for a movie. I adapted the idea to a short story for a competition and because of the word count and the differing structure, a lot of material had to be left out. It’s the story of a young man who has an anxiety disorder. To cope with it, he imagines it as a character, a werewolf called Harry, so that he only need fear his condition once a month, at a full moon. During the story it becomes apparent that Harry may be real, so the core idea is a cross between Donnie Darko’s Frank rabbit and Nightmare on Elm Street. I would like to play more with the idea of whether Harry is real or not, so I would alter the scene where they first meet, but then this would have repurcussions and I would have to change the whole latter half of the story. It’s something I would like to explore again.   15) You’ve invented a new national holiday. What is it called, and what does it celebrate? (Plus, would we get the day off of school and work??)  My new holiday would be called Imagination Monday, and of course we would have to have the day off school and work, but everyone has to use their imagination in some way: write a story, draw a picture, spend some quality time with children so you can see how they work. I think I have a great imagination, but it is nothing compared to what it was when I was younger. We need to exercise our imaginations otherwise life becomes an endless, boring grind. Ideally, the holiday would be once a week.  16) Using the letters J L W (my initials!), create the title of your next bestseller. (For example, Jumping Love Walrus.)  Justifying Loose Walnuts: It’s an existential comedy, exploring quantum theory and how one man’s lazy decision not to tighten a single nut on the plumbing of the staff bathroom sink brings about the fall of humanity. It’s told from the perspective of a spider with delusions of grandeur and a superiority complex.  17) What is your astrological sign? How closely does it match your personality?  I am a Taurus. I like this stuff. I’m from a small, fringe group of bulls that believes and is interested in superstition and the like. So let’s see: Yes, this sounds a lot like me. On the exterior I am always a very friendly, energetic person, but underneath I’m a very anxious, often pessimistic over-thinker. I like my creature comforts too. It really bugs me when I can’t be comfortable. It’s also true that I retreat from the world. I have often walked right by people I know on the street and they have told me the next day. It’s odd. I’m not sure about the ‘planning for the future’ aspect. I have never been good at that and I always tend to leap into situations without thinking things through. That has its good and bad points. I tend to take on too much responsibility or fail to read the fine print, but I have lots of adventures. I’ve been to five countries I otherwise wouldn’t have. I adore nature though, as anyone who has seen my photography account at Deviantart will attest (http://mrmonkey1980.deviantart.com) and, in love, I am very pleasure focused. I ignore the trivial.  18) You’re going off your diet for one day and only eating food from restaurants. What do you eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? (Include the restaurant each meal comes from.)  I do this whenever I go travelling! For breakfast I have pancakes with ice cream and bananas. Oh, and syrup of course. This is from a diner or coffee place. For lunch I go to one of the privately owned burger joints and I have their special. Then for dinner I have something like a pasta or pizza in a swanky restauraunt.   19) What is your ultimate vacation destination?  The place doesn’t matter to me. It’s the company. Though there are countries I really don’t want to go to. I have nothing against them, I just have no interest in the Middle East or Africa. I’ve always been fascinated by Asia. Still, the best holiday I had was in New Zealand, so I would like to go there again. It’s a beautiful place and they have so much going on.  20) The world has suffered from a one-day only loss of power. You have no cell phone, computer, lights, or anything else that requires a computer, cell battery, or electricity. What do you spend the day doing?  I’d sleep in late, have some really good food without the distraction of the TV or computer games. Then I would take a long walk and find somewhere I had never been to before. When I found somewhere nice, I would sit down, read a bit or maybe draw whatever came to mind. Then I would head home to have a nice rest, some more reading to pass the time and then a good bath before bed. Though maybe I would have to heat the water the old fashioned way?  21) If you weren’t an author, what job would you be doing?   My life might be very similar. I’d still be a teacher, I think, but maybe I would be less tired as I wouldn’t be trying to fit in writing time every day. Most of the time I fail and it stresses me out! I love working with children and the comforts that come from being a foreigner in another country. It makes life more interesting for me. I get my fair share of stories to tell too.  22) You get the chance to star in an upcoming film release. What movie would you star in for your acting debut? (If you can’t choose an upcoming film, you can choose a past release.)  I wouldn’t want to steal the Mad hatter role of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland from Johnny Depp as I’m sure he’ll be fantastic, but a role like that would suit me. Stick me in front of a camera and I can get a bit crazy. Though, I think I will say Iron Man 2, just so I can have a chance to go flying about in one of the suits. I love comic book stories too.  23) You’re invited to a White House function, and you have the chance to give a 10-minute speech to the President and everyone else attending. What do you speak about?  The importance of silence. I will introduce myself, and then go and have a cup of tea in the back room while they reflect on this for the next ten minutes.  24) Your publisher has instructed you to write a new series based on an endangered species. What animal do you choose?   Wow. There are so many endangered species. I could do a story about the Madagascar snipe, who works as a hitman for a bunch of dirty crocodiles. He could hide his scoped rifle behind his long legs, and so he has the perfect disguise. No one would suspect a wading bird as being a hired killer. Maybe, he’d fall in love with a hippo and we’d have a cross species love story for the generation.  25) A movie is being made of ONE of your books. Which book is it, and who will star as the main characters?  You know, I have often thought about a movie of BETTER OFF DEAD and its sequels. I imagined how the trailers would run and what the opening sequence would be. I think I would know how to make it, but the cast is difficult. No one could accurately portray the images in my head. I think my movies would be animated. It would be a great adventure film though. It has blockbuster potential but certainly satisfies requirements for cult status. I always thought of Ramses, the main hero, as looking like a young Brad Pitt who had collided with a brick wall at high speeds. The female lead, Kenempti, I’m really not sure of as she has to be the kind of woman that any guy would instantly fall in love with and who alive fits that description? For a while I thought Kristana Loken would do - she played the bad terminator in Terminator 3 - but I’m not sure about her work. P-Head needs someone lanky and charming. I imagined someone like Danny DeVito as the villain. Still, if it’s animated I just need some nice voices. I’d have Gary Oldman as Octavius, Johnny Depp as P-Head and Sam Rockwell as Ramses. I think my work is a little below their standard though.  26) The paranormal genre is big in teen/YA literature right now. Most bestsellers feature vampires, werewolves, faeries, angels, or the like as a main character. In your opinion, why are teens currently fascinated with all things paranormal?  I think it’s two things. At our core, as human beings, we are all fascinated by the unknown, even though we fear it and although our society and knowledge has grown so much we still aren’t sure about what lurks in that darkness. Some people like to tread into the shadows. Then there are the young people who are discovering their place in the world and a lot of it can seem quite boring, quite mundane. Reading or writing about these fantastic creatures is exciting and allows us to explore life’s mysteries wrapped in a big metaphor. I know I prefer that to a real life drama. I know that my work can be dismissed as bizarre trash but I always make a story with a message.  27) You’re writing a book where you can change one major historical event. Which event do you change? (For example, Abraham Lincoln wasn’t assassinated, or Japan never bombed Pearl Harbor.)  I’d be interested in exploring what would have happened had Britain won the War of Independence with America. There would be only one type of English, everyone there would be much nicer and drink more tea. Our empire would have continued to expand. The World Wars might never have happened because we were just too mighty and the whole world might be joined under our superpower and we could be exploring the stars by now. Can you imagine, British people being ambassadors for our species? I think the British would be more confident as a people too. The wars really drained our spirit and resources. Perhaps there would be some underground resistance looking to undermine this global democracy though. Who knows? Living in Japan though, I’m curious as to what this country would be like had they not isolated themselves for so long. How would the Japanese have integrated all the foreign elements into their culture?  28) Remember those “classics” that you were made to read in high school English class? What was your favorite, and which title should students never have to be subjected to reading?  I honestly can’t remember any of them other than Shakespeare. I blanked them out of my memory. They cannot have been good. I remember friends complaining about LORD OF THE FLIES and ANIMAL FARM but they were different classes. Shakespeare is interesting. I think it's good for students to be exposed to it, but it was honestly another language to me. It took too long for me to assimilate what he was saying so I missed all the good bits. I guess I like easy reading. Children should be allowed to read more contemporary works in school though. I think all the old classics put a lot of children off of reading, and that is never good. I should take my own advice, but everyone should read more.  29) Someone tells you that you’ll never publish another book that you write. Do you still keep writing?  Sure, what do they know? One person doesn’t own every publishing house in the world, and these days there are so many ways to get your work read. If that is what you want. I do it because it’s fun for me and a kind of therapy, but I want people to read my work.  30) A group of teens ask you the best way to become a published writer. How do you answer the question?  I’ll let them know when I get there. Still, I can give some advice on how to get started. The first big step for me was opening myself up to criticism. Sure, it hurts and I got very defensive, but if you leave it a while and return when you calm down, there is often good advice in there. After a while, you become better at spotting the useful advice without getting hurt by it and any useless comments are easily ignored. It has got to the point now where I like harsh criticism, as they are the reviews that I learn something from. Praise is great, it let’s me know I’m doing well, but it doesn’t help me get better. Secondly, you have to learn the rules. If you want to get published there are certain things you have to do in your writing, from basic layout, such as margin and font sizes, to story structure and the tedious administration of sending your work to publishers. These things have to be learned. Once they are followed to the letter then you can learn how to work around them and get your individual style and voice heard. The hardest thing for me to swallow was the use of “he said/she said” as speech tags. I hated just using those, because it seemed so repetitive and boring, but now I have turned around. It makes a lot of sense to me that these tags are ignored by the reader. The main idea is not to break the flow of the story and tags like “she exclaimed” and “she cried out loud” do drag the reader out of the story. Everything is subjective though. This is what I have learned.   **Thanks so much to Matt for visiting with us today! There are several places on the Web you can find him, besides his website listed above: Blog, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, or you can email him directly at aliasbillpardy@me.com.  Matt's also giving away some awesome prizes to lucky posters today! One will win a paperback copy of NOT ALL OF THEM ABOUT ZOMBIES, and three others will get a signed art print of character sketches from BETTER OFF DEAD! So be sure to leave any questions or comments you have for him in the comments section, so he can stop by and see what we're discussing.

POSTED BY JEN WARDRIP AT 2:02 AM

Comments
18 COMMENTS:
wheresmyrain said...
great interview! sounds like a great book. I love that you mentioned Murakami. I think your books sound like someone a murakami fan like me would enjoy.  wheresmyain at yahoo dot com
JANUARY 23, 2010 8:11 AM
John The Bookworm said...
Wow, quite an interview. My socks are very knocked off. Nearly across the room actually. I blame you for this, but I forgive you for it.   As for the interview, you are a very interesting author. Teaching in Japan, writing clearly humorous stories with depth...quite a personality. I agree with your adolescent book choices, as a teenager I find Pratchett and Adams hilarious authors. I'm a little sad about Pratchett's situation, though. It's a tough area to stomach. Judging by your comments now, I can't see why you DIDN'T think you would become a teacher! You have such a profound way of thinking these things out, it screams teacher. And I find it utterly appalling you didn't read Lord of the Flies. You would enjoy it, very symbolic with a psychological horror value to it.   Now for some questions:  Inspiration for your books. Where, when, how? Leave nothing out (unless it shouldn't be seen by small children).   Your opinions on the new continuation to the Hitchhiker's series? Will it stand the test of time like the rest of them?
JANUARY 23, 2010 8:18 AM
John The Bookworm said...
Oh, and have you ever put any extras or references to your favorite works in your books?  johnrj@mail.com
JANUARY 23, 2010 8:21 AM
Cady N. said...
Haha, wow, what a colorful interview - thank you for adding some much needed humor to my day! Your book sounds fantastic: another one added to the "awesome looking books to be read" pile!! :]  irishpeanutt@yahoo.com
JANUARY 23, 2010 8:32 AM
Cherie J said...
What an interesting interview. Japan is on my list of places I would love to visit someday. I am a big anime and manga fan and I enjoy Japanese food.   cherierj(at)yahoo(dot)com
JANUARY 23, 2010 9:00 AM
Yasams2 said...
Wow I laughed the entire time I read this :) I went to your website and that was very funny too. Your sense of humor is very different, and very enjoyable. I wish my teachers were this funny and insightful :D  yasams2(at)aim(dot)com
JANUARY 23, 2010 9:18 AM
M.R. Street said...
Great interview! I would love to go to Japan one day and see Kyoto and of course the statue of Hachiko in Shibuya Railway Station. You mentioned Johnnie Depp as the Mad Hatter. I am waiting to see him as Barnabus Collins in Dark Shadows. How about you? --M.R. :-) streetpmr at nettally dot com
JANUARY 23, 2010 9:56 AM
Matthew Rowe said...
WHERESMYRAIN: I wouldn't put myself in the same class as Murakami, but I do love his quirky stories and I absorb a little of all I read into my work.  JOHN THE BOOKWORM:: I would enjoy Lord of The lies now but as a kid you never appreciate these things.  Q1: Inspiration or most of my stories usually comes when I am watching movies or TV programmes, I wonder what would happen if this occured instead, what if the character had this problem, or how would this character cope in a different kind of world. Sometimes though it is as simple as a phrase or an old saying that catches my attention and I think "why is that?" or if that were literally true it would be quite funny. M stories always start with a very simple single idea. I then build on this thining of what kind of characters are needed, what style, etc.  Q2: Ah, the new Hitchhiker's.... I heard about it long ago and I was kind of pleased but it's like a 4th movie in a trilogy that's directed by someone else. It may have the same characters, be another new adventure, but it'll never be the same. Still, I think it will be amusing and it's the next book I am planing to buy.  Q3: There are tonnes of references in my work. I always use quotes catchphrases or just directly refer to a TV show or book. Some of them are obvious, some are very obscure. Sometimes I turn a situation from another story on its head, because i can. I like to do something different.  CADY N: I hope the pile isn't too big!   CHERIE J: I liked anime more when I was growing up but it is good. I'm watching through 'One Piece' at the moment, both so I have something to speak to my kids about, and because it's really funny. Monkey D. Luffy reminds me a lot of Ramses, my character..  YASAMS 2: I wish they would let me use my shining personality but I am afraid that the entrances to Japanese schools have devices installed to suck the humour out of all who pass through them.... at least that is what I think sometimes, looking at my kids on a lazy day.  M. R. STREET: Yes, I'm always on the look out for a Johnny Depp film. They are generally fantastic.
JANUARY 23, 2010 11:01 AM
Matthew Rowe said...
Sorry, as you can probably tell my computer has a broken 'f' key! I have to press really hard to make it work....
JANUARY 23, 2010 11:02 AM
Ashley said...
I loved your answer to the question about what your mom would write on the author profile. Very funny!   It was a great interview, and your books look like a great read.   ashfore@yahoo.com
JANUARY 23, 2010 1:42 PM
Matthew Rowe said...
ASHLEY: Thanks. My mum would probably thank you.
JANUARY 23, 2010 3:57 PM
Anonymous said...
like differnt zombies   blackroze37@yahoo.com
JANUARY 23, 2010 4:28 PM
Matthew Rowe said...
ANON: me too. I like to get the monkeys in there. I specifically requested that from Jasper (the illustrator for the cover art work. You can see his work here:http://ngjas.deviantart.com/ ).
JANUARY 23, 2010 4:33 PM
The Book Owl said...
Wonderful interview! I can't wait to read Haruki Murakami's newest book either. Such great reads. I actually really enjoyed Animal Farm. It's one of my favorite classics. Maybe it's because I enjoy history.  McKenzie mac.attack17(at)yahoo(dot)com
JANUARY 23, 2010 9:25 PM
Matthew Rowe said...
THE BOOK OWL: Thanks. I was never really interested in the classics at school - like most people I suspect. Yet, I would probably enjoy them now.
JANUARY 23, 2010 10:05 PM
BreiaB said...
Great interview, looking forward to reading the book. I want to know what books you are most looking forward to this year?
JANUARY 23, 2010 10:43 PM
Matthew Rowe said...
BREIAB: As I said, Murakami's latest, 'Noir' by Robert Coover is catching my attention and I should give a more than honourable mention to my sister who has her first book out this October. It's a real life story based on the letters of a war time ambulance driver that she found in her shed! Strangely enough, she hasn't told me a title, but I guess you can look out for Nicola Rowe.
JANUARY 23, 2010 11:13 PM
Matthew Rowe said...
Thanks everyone who commented and even those who just read. A big thanks to Jen too for hosting me. It was fun having my own guest blog for a while. Please stop by my site every now and then and see what I am up to.
JANUARY 24, 2010 9:56 PM

The Voices!

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 19:15:35 +0900

I have a terrible confession to make. It came as a bit of a shock to me too. I got a girl pregnant, with two babies, at the same time, in two different wombs. Apparently she is the only recorded woman in history to have a womb connected to her... hmmmm, back passage. Now, I’m not really sure what I am doing in life.

Apart from that, my day’s been pretty good. But still, it made me realise how sheltered my existence has been. All of a sudden there are people very connected to me and I can no longer just think of myself. A large problem is the distance. She and Bump 1 and 2 (I have decided to name them this to belittle the situation and thus see the humorous side) are miles away. I was hoping to move that way anyway, so I guess I just have to aim for my goals with a more solid resolve. Damn, I quite liked teaching at these schools here. It’s kinda sad knowing I’ll be saying goodbye. I like the kids, I like the place; I was just getting into a pattern of seeing them often. It would be nice to support them throughout their stay at the school but it’s not meant to be. On the bright side there will be kids I like wherever I go. I just hope the teachers I work with are as nice. Meanwhile, I think I need to get more money....

(To understand why this is funny, you really should click here but be careful as I heard a report that clicking on links can give Bill Gates access to any link linked to that link and by connection of links your entire email and internet history for his own personal, dark room, tissue box accompanied amusement. )