Matt’s Blog

Vincible

Mon, 8 Mar 2010 09:26:58 +0900

This weekend was graduation. Beforehand I was feeling down about it, because I heard it was 4 hours of students and teachers crying. So I was expecting to be bored, on the sidelines, because the students largely still consider it a trial to talk to me. Things weren’t as bad as all that.

It meant working on a Saturday. I was also under the impression that after the ceremony we would all go home, but once there, the Head of English explained it would be a full working day. So I had to order an expensive lunch. I didn’t eat most of it because I don’t like shrimp and solid lumps of egg. Sushi is nice though.

It was nice to see all the female teachers in full kimonos. They looked a lot different than normal. The male 3rd grade teachers also had traditional clothes on. It was very cool. They had a homeroom class first thing and then we all started to go into the hall. I went in with some of the special needs kids, because I went to check up on them. I don’t know what their problems are but they just seem hyperactive to me. The hall was full of silver chairs and there was a path from the door to the centre and then turning to the stage and it was marked out by flowers. It was nice. I spoke to some of the 2nd grade while the ceremony was fully prepared. So far, so good. No crying.

The 3rd grade marched in to clapping, then there were some speeches and the singing of an anthem. When it got to the certificate part I became sad. There were 257 students to get through and the Principal made some big massive speech tot he first one and then handed them the paper. I was thinking we would have to go through that 257 times, but they were very organized. They went in a spread out line, pausing in different positions. The boys came from one side, the girls from another. The assistant handed the certificates to the Principal and after the first student he only said the names of the others. Still, It took a little over an hour to give the certificates. Then there were more speeches, special awards and songs. The 3rd grade sang to the rest of us, which is the point at which half of the girls broke down, and then the 2nd grade sang to the 3rd grade as they left the room.

Afterwards, the 3rd grade had one last homeroom class and the 2nd grade left straight away. I saw them out the door, saying goodbye. A few of them stopped to talk to me. In particular, a pair of girls were telling me how sad it was and that they were crying. I asked them why since they aren’t the ones who were leaving. Once they were all out the door, I walked back to teh teachers’ room and noticed one of the English teachers by the stairs so I went to chat. It turned out she was guarding the nurses’ office. We talked about all sorts and said goodbye to parents. I was waiting for the 3rd grade to leave, but as it turned out they left down the other stairs. I went over to see. I missed half the classes, but some were still there, running about the entrance hall getting final photos and saying goodbye to teachers. This was the bit where I expected to be ignored and I was. Only one student said goodbye to me. But they all left looking happy. I guess all the sad ones left really quickly.

And that was that. I know the ceremony wasn’t about me and I don’t expect to be the centre of attention, but I was thinking that this ceremony only highlights the bad parts of this job for me. It shows you just how little the kids actually care or feel connected. In that they don’t. I feel like I have done my job well, even though I am aware I could have done much more, but not because of me personally, just the language, I think that the kids don’t want to talk to me unless they have to. Some will make an effort, but it’s still mostly a novelty and they don’t really want to talk to me....So give me a regular day of school any time. At least I can pretend they want to talk to me and don’t just want my fake money

Still, it seems that wearing a suit is a good thing. I got a few nice comments. Though some of the second grade girls didn’t seem to realise that ‘sexy’ is an English word. Silly people.

After I finally left the school (I had to try and entertain myself as I had left all my work stuff at home, thinking it would not be needed) I stopped in Mister Doughnut. Two of the 3rd grade students were there. They asked me if their teacher had been crying. It was funny, but that is probably the last time I shall see them. It’s strange because it feels like the year has ended now, yet there are still 3 more weeks to go teaching just the 1st and 2nd grade.

I also had my last Elementary day this week. It was at the school I don’t really like. Still, they were asking me what I was doing next year and I didn’t have the heart to tell them I really didn’t care if I ever came back here. I like the special needs teachers, the nutritionist, secretary and 2nd grade teacher, but in general they don’t really give a crap about teaching English. It’s just something they are required to do. I I never felt welcome there, But a few of the kids are very cute, so I’ll miss them.

Today, I have to go to Sendai and get my visa. I wonder how long they will let me stay this time.

Marbles

Wed, 3 Mar 2010 21:49:03 +0900

Bad things that happened today: Started off in a bad mood from the crap my bank put me through yesterday, had no milk so had to have bread for breakfast, one of my regular passers by was in a bad mood, lessons were moved around without me being told, my teacher was busy so I couldn’t talk to her about what I wanted to between lessons, the nutritionist is a maniacal bitch who has been on at me for ages culminating into today’s event in which she forced me to pay for November’s lunches again, annoying kid wouldn’t shut-the-fuck up in class and kept shouting out answers to the listening test, the computer kept losing all the typing I had done despite saving it when it was a translation that had taken me 3 hours to write a couple of small paragraphs, the teachers’ room was too bloody hot, I wanted to leave early to get to the post office but ended up leaving late cos of the computer problem, I kept dropping change, I had to carry a heavy bag because I have to take all my stuff home to be able to go to Elementary school tomorrow, my headphones got broken because I was pulling on them trying to get them out of my stuffed bag and finally there was a bastardly strong wind against me all the way home and I was already exhausted and pissed off.

The good things that happened today were that I did get the letters off to the UK, I had a nice time relaxing in Mister Doughnuts after work, my lessons were generally fun, there was a cute little kid with a pack of doughnuts in the supermarket, I learned some new kanji while translating even if I did lose it, and I finally arranged to meet my “friend” in Nagoya again soon, after a period of ... complications.

That last positive is pretty big so I guess it wins over all but I still feel crappy about being so tired.

The last few days I’ve had a little shop at school selling some cheap toys for my fake money. It was fun to give some stuff to the nice kids, but mostly I was hounded by annoying kids who just wanted something for free. It got a bit annoying. Plus they kept flicking through the comic books looking for boobs and... well, that was it.

Sugarlumps

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 23:02:00 +0900

My students are still very surprised when they run into me outside of school. Sometimes, I don’t notice and then they tell me the next time they see me at school. That has happened a couple of times lately. Then today, while biking home, I saw one of my students walking down the main street. I wasn’t so sure it was her at first, because she was dressed so differently, but when I got closer I was sure. I made sure she noticed me before saying “Hello”. She was looking in a shop window as she walked past. Then she saw me and I actually noticed her eyes widen in surprise. Then I said “Hello”. She replied in a higher pitched voice than normal and then I was already past her. It always amuses me. This evening I saw another kid in a restaurant. I went out for dinner with some friends and while we were waiting to be seated, one of the special needs kids from my favourite Elementary school , waved for my attention. Funny.

Is it some kind of reminder, or just a set of coincidences. Next week is graduation. As far as I understand it, it’s about 4 hours of students and teachers crying. Should be fun - he says sarcastically - because I greatly anticipate myself being an outside party to that. Even if I like some of the kids, they won’t have any attachment to me. Still, I might get Monday off.

Except That Bit

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:51:30 +0900

I coulda woulda shoulda rotated that picture but I can’t be bothered. Yesterday, I bought as bass guitar. I’ve been thinking about it for a long while. I tried for many years to play electric guitar, but I never got far. I found it difficult to reach half of the chords and it just didn’t feel quite right. Bass is the same kind of principle, but it’s slower, focusing on funky melodies rather than ripping out a whole song. I like that. As soon as I sat down with the bass at the store - thanks to the very nice owner who let me muck about for ages and gave me tonnes of free stuff - it felt better. I could comfortably reach over all the frets and since there is one less string, there is more space to pluck. So I didn’t keep catching the other strings. Like I said, I played around a bit and then I decided to buy it.

A day later and I am still happy with the purchase. I didn’t quite get a colour that I liked. There was something wrong with the one I picked out. He gave me the same model but in a white finish. It’s a bit bland but I’m warming to it, despite planning to put loads of stickers on it. I’ve sat through a few lessons of the Japanese learner’s DVD and looked up a couple of tabs I want to learn. First I’m focusing on learning to pluck properly, without a pick. I don’t really want to use a pick.

I’m looking forward to joining the strings club at school, sitting in the corner, playing my melodies and singing along to the tune I’m learning on my ipod. This, of course, while all the students watch with interest and laugh at the appropriate points. I’m not sure if I’ll try that at this school though.

Work is pretty slow at the minute. The school is coping with tests so I don’t have to do much. It’s nice, but I find myself sat at the desk all day. At least I get to work on my writing a bit!

Until next time, evil doers!

All your Bass Belongs to Us

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:45:03 +0900

I have a magic window on my kitchen wall. Tiny Japanese schoolgirls dance in it and make silly faces. Possibly, I am hallucinating. I made it to the weekend, that’s all that matters. Last week was so busy. I kept trying to go to bed early but there was always stuff to do. Some of it was even fun stuff you wouldn’t write home about so I shouldn’t put it here either I guess. I spent a lot of time translating things, which is great as I am finally getting some regular reading practice in Japanese. I feel like I have made a lot of progress recently. I will even have spare time at school tomorrow, so I’m thinking I’ll get some done then too.

I had a good day on Friday. I had some fun lessons with the second grade. I got to mark lots of their writing, which is always good because they aren’t so shy in their books. I feel like I connect with them more. And it’s always nice to give them marks and see their reactions. Second grade has been difficult, only now are a lot of them starting to talk to me regularly. Ah well, I’m going to try harder at the next school.

Speaking of which, I am still waiting to hear where I’m going.

This weekend I took it easy. For the first time in ages, I sat down and watched a movie. While it was happening, I realised how long it had been since I had done that. Far too long! I used to love movies so much I would buy DVDs all the time and watch them constantly. Now, I am too concerned about buying DVDs because I don’t have space for them and a lot of them don’t have any English anyway. It’s difficult. I guess I have to adapt or officially find a new passion.

You’ve got Female

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:49:24 +0900

I believe this is ambivalence. I always thought it was kind of a nonchalant feeling, but its not. It’s two extremes. I’m sad, to the point of quivering lip, because I finished at the best Elementary school today, but I’m also very happy. I’m not sure why, but partly because they were so kind, I got a lot of love (the legal kind) and I’m happy that I had the experience. It is odd though. I was not looking forward to today at all, but it turned out to be lots of fun. I had a normal set of lessons and after yesterday the routine of telling students at the end of teaching that I would be leaving and if we could have a photo together was relaxed. A lot of the kids made a nice effort, but each class was different; one group wanted me to keep taking photos of them; another wrote lots of notes to me in English and Japanese; another wanted me to autograph their books. At lunch I got cornered by some second graders (6 and 7 year olds) who wanted me to sign their books but the queue kept growing and growing. When the bell for lessons went, I had to disappoint people. I told them to come see me in the teachers’ room but they didn’t turn up.

After all my classes were over, I printed out the pictures I wanted and stuck them in the giant card I made. Then I was visited by some students. Firstly, by some 6th graders (11-12 year olds), girls, who wanted my address to write to me and wanted to talk to me some. I wrote them a message and they asked me to draw each of them! I managed it but one of the girls has quite a distinctive face, very pretty and like a perfect circle, yet I found her the hardest to draw. They even asked me if a hug was okay, which was sweet as I would never have suggested such a thing. I got worried for a moment when the head English teacher came up to me after and asked me if I had ever had students be that friendly before. I thought he was going to make some comment about “please don’t touch the students” but as usual, they seem more relaxed about it here. Probably because most people are too shy to consider doing it anyway.

After I had signed some more books, I finished the giant card and said goodbye to everyone. I showed them the card and worked my way towards the door. The head teachers are all very friendly, everyone at that school is, they talked to me a bit about my uncertain future and then I made a quick goodbye speech to the whole room. Finally, a few members saw me out and I showed them the tradition of crossing fingers for good luck (that I can come back and teach there). They thought it was funny.

On the ride home, I got sad as I thought about the students who I could have followed through the school if I stayed and the ones who would go on to the Junior High I work in and how cool it would be for me to follow them there and help them, and also for them to have a familiar, friendly face in a new school. It would have been so great. But the chances of it happening are virtually zilch. Maybe at the next place. I just wish I knew where I was going to work.

A curious point was that of one of the teachers, a lovely attractive one, giving me a special, handmade woodblock carving printed card as a present. After she gave it, all the other teachers who saw were commenting on it being a ‘love letter’ and... well, why hadn’t she said something when I first started working there? We both could have been so happy! Perhaps. It was a typical Japanese thing though. The shyness stays with them throughout life. But the gift was definitely special. She was the only teacher to do something individually, and it was extremely well made, by her.

Anyway, moving on; I have the not so good Elementary school tomorrow, so the whole week is on a downer now. I can only hope I got some mail from the kids to cheer me up.

Deceit Receipt

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 22:09:09 +0900

My readership has noticeably dropped. Maybe, it’s because I haven’t blogged as frequently lately but I feel like I have little time at the moment. I’m just trying to find space to relax in all the time, let alone do silly personal stuff like this. Anyway, I’m getting to grips with it.

Friday, I stopped by my Elementary school after finishing at Junior High for the day. It was very sad, because this will be my last visit to that school and it is certainly my favourite of all the schools. However, they are letting me make my goodbye card for them, so tomorrow I shall go to school with my camera, take lots of pictures and then use them in a giant card to the whole school. After the planning, I left, feeling really sad. I didn’t want to finish at the school at all, but I don’t have any control over it and despite it all there are other places I want to be too. I went for a meal and a beer in a nearby restaurant and thought about it. Then I went home listening to loud music until I felt better. Ah, I’m such a teenager sometimes.

I didn’t get as much done as I wanted to at the weekend. Remember I said about the Scandal group that I got tangled up in? Well, it got more time consuming because now I have been hired as an official translator for them. It feels like a bit of a sham because I don’t view my Japanese as good at all, but I am able to decipher a lot, so I can help. Honestly, I wouldn’t help out, it’s only that its the best practise at the Japanese language that I have had for a long time. So I want to stick with it. Though now, I feel a responsibility to get it done and it’s just another thing on my list because I have all my job stuff and moving house to deal with too. My main task at the moment is translating Scandal’s tweets. They just started posting on Twitter. Ha, it’s funny really. I was thinking that it’s a pretty useless thing to be doing with my time really,in the grand scheme of things, but translating this stuff makes a lot of people happy. It’s small but interesting, and my Japanese improves because of it.

On Sunday, I was offered another job. The guy asked me to call in sick for work so I could go and do a presentation for his Board of Education and get the position. It was nearer Tokyo. which would be better than here, relationship wise, but I still have a good chance of getting a job in Nagoya. Plus, I just wasn’t comfortable with lying and the clincher (silly as it is) is that it would have meant missing one of the last days at my fave Elementary.

That was also Valentine’s Day. And it didn’t suck for me. I wasn’t too bothered but I actually had stuff happen. In Japan, it’s a little different. In February, the girls buy something for the guys they like and chocolates for the other men in their lives (at work and stuff), then on March 14th the men give presents to the girls they like. I find it amusing because it means the guys can wait and see who likes them first. It shows the shyness in the culture too. Men get to take the relaxed role because they still have a lot of power here. Anyway, my hostess in Nagoya sent me a present and my translator friend came round for lunch (I cooked Shepherd’s pie again) and she gave me a small box of chocolates. So it was fun.

Today, I had to go into Sendai after my kindergarten visit to reapply for my visa. It meant rushing on the bullet train, but it’s always a quick visit to the office there. I met this nice Brazilian guy who was there with his Japanese wife and we chatted a bit. Then after, I went to find the venue where I will be seeing Scandal play live next month. I was hoping for a small venue because it would be better like that. I wasn’t expecting it to be 2 floors underground, at the end of 100 metres or more of winding passageways, behind the kitchens of dodgy looking Korean restaurant, marked only by a “poster” made with an A4 sheet of paper and a red marker pen. Now I feel this will be a really good gig. But as it is small, it might sell out fast so I’m buying tickets first time I can!