About Alexus:

At first I considered myself a GEM (Gender Enhanced Male). I used that term because I thought it was more descriptive than crossdresser, and less clinical than transvestite. But I definitely knew that I was a transgendered male of some sort. I had a real "gut feeling" from the very beginning that I might be transsexual, but could not even begin to explore that possibility until I tried out the less dramatic forms of transgenderism. None of them felt like the "real me". So with the help of a LOT of introspection, a year of cancer treatment, and a little psychotherapy, I came to the following conclusion:

I am a 47 year old pre-op MTF transsexual. The full details of that rather dramatic realization are here. I never felt like the description of the "classic" TS really fit me, so I was delighted to read an article by Dr. Anne Lawrence describing another category called autogynephilia. I take exception with some of what she says, but still relate to her description more than that of the classic TS. Dr. Rebecca Allison shares some of my concerns and her rebuttal is found here. I am currently living full time as a woman and have been on hormones since January, 1999. (For my personal thoughts and rebuttal written in 2003, click here)

I am relatively new to the gender community as I began exploring my femme persona in December of 1996. I think getting in touch with my feminine side is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It has made me a better person in all aspects of my life. If you want to know all about my "coming out" click here.

November 23, 1999 Update

If you've been following my page over the past few months, you already know that I recently got divorced. The divorce was a "friendly" divorce, as we had been married for 24 years, have two wonderful daughters, and quite simply came to the conclusion that we could no longer live together. As a result, I will be moving as a single woman into a new condo when it's finished in February, 2000. In the meantime, I continue to live at home with my ex-spouse as my landlord and roommate.

I have legally changed both my name and gender. And of course, I continue living "24/7" as Alexus, as my Real Life Experience continues. I am planning SRS sometime within the next year. But before that happens, I will need to settle into my new condo, get it all furnished and decorated, and enjoy some time as a single professional woman.

Life for me has taken SO many interesting twists and turns, I can barely scratch the surface with these brief descriptions. My main hope is that some of you reading this will be inspired to follow your own pathway to expression of the heart, and will become as happy as I am. God bless each and every one of you, as She certainly has blessed me....

1998 Cancer Experience

The year 1998 was not very kind to me. On January 9th of that year, I had a needle biopsy done on a suspicious lump in my neck. They did not like the look of the cells from that test, so on January 13 they removed the entire lymph node. By the end of that week they had a preliminary diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma (a form of cancer of the lymph nodes). The final diagnosis was recently completed and the result was indeed, Hodgkin's Lymphoma, nodular sclerosing with syncitial variance, Stage III-2-A-S. (I put all those details in there for anyone curious or for other medical types reading this) I started chemotherapy on Friday February 6, 1998.

Post-Treatment Report

For further treatment and progress updates, and the GREAT news of my "complete remission" click here. (updated 2-4-99)