When personal time is interrupted by a sales call from a tele-marketer:

I answer in a cooperative way. I mention that I have had my home phone forwarded to my cell and that I am driving in traffic. I say that I think I have time to talk though.

The salesperson always asks “How are you doing today?”

I say that I stopped off at the casino at lunch and have been drinking since then, and that I am in no shape to be able to make a business decision.

I have been living out of my car.

 

The trick is to be able to answer all of their questions and to make statements with a “straight face”.

I just got a call (10/08) from an outfit that was going to reduce my credit debt. Talked to 2 guys- one screener and a “specialist” who later got on the line. They started by calling me by a name I was not familiar with. I just went along with it. Somehow they did not have my correct area code and asked to confirm that I lived in a state nowhere near here. I confirmed the info they had. They asked for my last name and I gave them a jumble of letters that could not be pronounced. They asked for the spelling, then slowly and carefully recorded the jumble of letters. They asked for my street address, so I gave them the one where I live except I told them I live in the town of Monogamy in the state they had previously accused me of being in. The info was not matching up with whatever they could find on a credit check. They kept asking how long I have lived here. I told them that I had been living in my car for a stretch. Much later in the call they asked for my last name again to run a credit check and lost patience with me because I could not duplicate the info I had given them previously. I told them I had been drinking since lunch and was trying to get home. Never raised my voice or got ugly, just played along. Ran them in circles for 10-15 minutes- plenty of time listening to Muzak while waiting for the specialist- It was great fun.

I am not even the same sex as the person they were calling for.

 

Another way to make sport of it is to find out what product they are selling, then simply disqualify yourself from becoming a customer.

If the product has to do with my car- extended warranty, auto club membership, limited time insurance offer, etc.- I just had my license suspended/revoked. My car has been repossessed, my ex-wife got the car, etc.

An offer for a newspaper, magazine, photo club- I am blind.

Anything for the home: lawn service, alarm system, new roof- I recently went through foreclosure.

I can say I need to check with my husband.

Catch-all: I am going through bankruptcy.

I have won a prize. I must travel and attend a real estate/resort property, etc. seminar to claim my prize. In this case I am wearing an electronic ankle bracelet while serving a period of court-ordered house arrest.

Sometimes the salesperson will let you go, sometimes they will hang on to "close" no matter what. You could fake a heart attack and they would stay on the line to get a commitment to buy.

Where I live now, the phone is not in my name. Salespeople call me by a different last name and I play along with it- even more fun.

Once, while living in an apartment, I got the call for a sale on gutters, downspouts, siding, windows, etc. Could they send someone out to do an estimate? Yes, I’ll be here- I go on to provide whatever info they want- anything except my true name, address, credit card number, etc.