No, you are not reading Getting Better All the Time, but oddly enough it’s appropriate. I know, I know. I know what you’re all saying: “But Adam, you universally loathe sports of any kind!”

Enter Rat City Roller Girls - specifically the kick-@$$ Throttle Rockets!

I went to my first bout tonight and I am hooked. It was fun, cool, graceful, brutal, fast, sexy, exciting, strategic, visceral, complex and simple all at once. I’ve never been to any sporting event, where my pulse actually changed. I’ve never given an honest damn if one team ever won over another - except to hope that the local sports teams wouldn’t make playoffs so that traffic would improve quicker. Now, I kind of see why people care about this kind of thing.

The only down side is that the Throttle Rockets may be better off without me as a fan. No team I ever “care” about ever wins. Perhaps that will change if I actually care. They lost their bout tonight, but they made a good showing and they have some great players. Leloo, especially, while fresh meat, shows all the signs of being a great jammer. Her apparent teleporting ability will serve her well.

I’ll be heading to the next bout on 4/19. If you want to go, get your tickets now. They sell out quick.