Cotton turns 6 next month. I can’t believe it. Birthdays are great, but his is so bittersweet. A collection of how far I imagined we would be, and where we really are. A sea of mixed emotion, even in the midst of all our recent progress. The realization, that there is no party to plan, no favorite character theme, not even any present requests, weighs heavily on my mind. Followed with the “what should we get him?” question, to which I never know the answer.

    Then, there are those rainbows... the ones that supposedly have all the answers for you. The only catch, is the expense. At times like these they are so tempting. When all you want is the hope of a different future. The countless therapies we have tried, all doing something to help, but nothing being the “magic bullet.” Right now, it is a speech therapist, that uses visual modeling to increase articulation. Should I, could I, can we? Will it even help? I’ve said it before, I am done chasing rainbows, I have a pocket full of them.... what I want, is the gold.